Tag Archives: want vs. need

Is “Want” Enough? Thoughts Post Wimbledon

16 Jul

Food smorgasboard

I always seem to write posts after Wimbledon (this one was written when Murray delighted all of Britain). Probably because the Wimbledon weekend is always fun. This one was more so, as we had many social events with great food galore (see picture).

But, a few things stood out – Serena’s 38th Grand Slam at age 33, Sania’s first Wimbledon giving India her first ladies Wimbledon (and all the brouhaha over the BBC’s Hingis tweet), the other two Wimbledon Cups India won; and…….my daughter’s dance exam!

The dance exam gave us as many tears as maybe Muruguza shed in private – both for daughter, and parents! The deal was, that daughter felt she wasn’t prepared enough for it, and therefore wanted to skip the exam – we felt it was a milestone bringing a year’s work to a close, and we weren’t particularly worried about how well she had done in it, and so wanted her to just get it done with!

The daughter’s tears came, I figured, also from the fact that (like most of humanity), she doesn’t like mediocrity –


Cannot be coincidence that this year, most of the finalists Serena, Federer AND Djoker spoke about hard hard work – As Djokovic said, It’s about being on the court day in and day out – sometimes repetitive practice – that brings them to that one moment on the court.

Federer in his losing finalist speech said: “I do work very hard, but all the other guys do the same, so there’s no advantage….” Also, “That added a bit more pressure but these parts of matches you work all your life for. You envision yourself being on Centre Court in this tournament and holding this trophy. It’s a thrilling feeling.” Fortunately, for us, he is still “…hungry and motivated with playing….”

And Serena, ofcourse, has famously said:

serena luck quote

So, to me, the deal is:
a) It’s great to “want” – infact, “want” very often leads us to achieve more….
b) But, if want is either unrealistic (a two left feet person like me saying I will win a Dance Reality Show as an example), or unbacked by hard work, it’s going to be very very very demotivating….
c) Either way, Life will throw “evaluation” at you – tests/ exams/ quizzes/ interviews/ negotiation/ competition….you cannot skip these – they have to be taken, more so, if you “want” something really badly. And, given the reality of these evaluation, one may as well work hard to make sure one is mentally prepared to take them on – more so, when one knows evaluations are coming.
d) Also, it is good to feel fear before any evaluation – healthy fear makes one actually deliver well – so, it couples the “want” with “need”. BUt, the fear has to be conquered – and one just has to go ahead and “do” it!

This “want” being the mother of all syndrome is seen in corporate life too – unless you want something badly enough, and fight for it/ ask for it/ bargain for it; you don’t really get it — whether it is your promotion or a salary hike, a great deal from a vendor or partner in negotiation, a move to another role/ destination….As my old boss used to say – “Even a mother gives the crying baby more milk”

Now, the ONLY problem – how does one coach a just teenager on all these things?

As federer said at the end “Its how it goes….”

P.S: Her dance exam went quite well!

wimb final