No, this is not about Chavez and Strange. It’s also not (really) about chatrooms and dating in the Tinder/ Bumble world. I would say it’s an analysis of how a retired person spends her time, and also a commentary on social structures now.
My typical day now is – take dog for morning walk, listen to some awesome music on Machan, a music community started by a young musician during the Pandemic times, then spend some time chatting on my other Whatsap groups – collegemates/ lanemates/ kids’-friends’-parents-who-are-now-friends/ family/ ex colleagues etc etc…and so on. This chat stuff is pretty much ongoing – and leads to most social stuff too…
I spent a friday last month hosting a group of ladies who all went to the same group of educational institutions and now live close to me for drinks, food and conversation – I knew 1 of the 10-12 folks who came. I spent this Saturday with another group of ladies, who all went to the same group of educational institutions, but who are into music in various ways – this hosted by a lady I’ve never met before. Again, out of the 20 odd who attended, I knew 2 folks. I spent one weekend doing a brewery trail with another subset of the same larger group, this time girls all interested in “baking, cooking, traveling”. That group has done a choley bhaturey trail, and a dosa idli/ thindi trail too. One sunday was spent at Cubbon Park, organising an Enid Blyton style picnic for, yes you guessed it right – Enid Blyton enthusiasts in Bangalore. Did a gin trail with some neighbours last weekend – we went to 3 different houses, where we drank interesting gin cocktails and ate some yum food. I even did a gin quiz :).
For a long time, my friends were – neighbours/ school/ college/ work 1/ work 2/ etc…then husband’s school college work 1 work 2, then kids’ friends parents; so, very ordained by demographics.
But the explosion of the virtual medium obviously expanded the specs of friend groups – and made it possible to have “friends” grouped by interests and opinions.
The meta verse therefore made it possible to have friends across demographic barriers – age, geography, gender, SEC
In my parents’ generation, their friends were largely still found in extended family – so, we would celebrate holi diwali picnics with our big family (and have “friend” groups within the family by different age group bands). When I was learning to drive and would take my car out every weekend to practise (because of traffic), my mum who was my companion would always make a relative’s house her destination – she would say “take me to so and so’s house – I don’t want to just drive around or go to the shops or whatever”.
This leads me to think – earlier, you had friends and you did EVERYTHING with them…now you have friends to do different things with – a book club friend to go watch Where the Crawdads Sing; running friends to attempt a baby Iron Man with; friends who would go to an Oktoberfest with you; Music friends whom you can text and gossip with about the Indian Idol Singers; so, the meta verse enabled classical marketing 101 lessons on segmentation and targeting.
In context, as Roger Federer announced his retirement, we saw many tributes to him – some even coming from “frenemies”. Leads one to think – has friendship itself become more multi layered? It was always onion peel structure – besties/ acquaintances/ enemies – but did the meta verse make friendship structures more complex? What is the “new” definition of friendship.
As I was pondering these questions, I asked random Whatsap groups of “friends” what they thought were iconic friendships they could name. Here are the results
Some random questions got thrown out as these were being discussed:
- Doesn’t Indian mythology throw up good examples of Female – Female friendships?
- Can “friendships” exist between men and women or are they of necessity romantic in nature?
So, what do you guys think – what is friendship now; has it changed from when you were younger; what are your favourite examples of “friends”…..Food For Thought!
As for me, all I can say is, “I get along with a little help from my friends” – you all know who you are – Fabulous 4; PNTRMUAA; Ladies Who Lunch; Gandige Swaminies; Gandikota Gang; BCT; Wiimw; Goa Gang; A Block; General GS; Come Takers; Penguins….
joshsang 