Elasticity – and the art of Procrastination

How many of you made New Year Resolutions? And how many are still following them.

I make some every year. With the passage of time, they have increasingly become more realistic. Even then, I’m unable to fulfil most – a good example is – to write more.  Before you say this is vague and not actionable, it’s ALWAYS quantified and action oriented – e.g., write and publish 12 blogs a year – but, as a glance at my publishing history will show, there are typically one or two pieces in Jan, and it gradually (or steeply) peters off.

Brings me to the point I was trying to make – the concept of doing nothing. Or being “vela”. I’m asked very often – what do you do? And I have to say – nothing! My friends always rush in to defend this saying – oh you’re always busy. But busy has nothing to do with doing something. And THAT’S the point – the fact that time always expands or contracts to fill whatever one wants to do (or, in my case, doesn’t want to do) – I can SERIOUSLY spend all day long watching dog, baby and cooking reels. Just as I used to, with ease, juggle client calls/ oversee multiple output pieces/ listen to HR or ops complaints/ figure strat for the next year, as well as all that is required to raise my daughters…all in 24 hours.

So, (ok actually THIS is the point) – time is elastic. Is that good or bad? What do you think?

Voice is elastic – I am an occasional participant in a music group that meets every morning, run by a superb musician who has made nirgun music her forte and is now specializing in the music/ voices of women of underprivileged backgrounds. And, when speaking of her impressive range of vocal chords, said she used to have a voice with heavy bass but the daily riyaaz plus exercises helped her increase the range. (before you ask – no, of course I don’t do the daily riyaaz and hence voice is still stuck in Rekha Bharadwaj land).

Ofcourse, demand is elastic – price (and income, cross product) elasticity of demand is the basic funda one learnt in eco (a subject I was horrible at). Where do you see it? I see the inelasticity most often in my Rajnigandha – have been eating the small packet from when it was 7/- to now when it is 19/- with no lessening in consumption frequency (though a definite lessening in teeth quality) – so, habit forming substance has inelastic pricing. What else? Do you think the iphone is price inelastic? How high is this going to go?

Since today is women’s day, I HAVE to say women are elastic – I think a good rep is elastigirl (remember the one from Incredibles – the mom who has superhuman elasticity granting her the ability to stretch any part of her body, but also has to stretch in hundreds of different ways each day – She’s an exceptional acrobat, marksman, motorcycle driver, pilot, operative, investigator, and tactician, as well as a masterful hand-to-hand combatant and martial artist).

And finally, I think body size is elastic  – fat cells though aren’t – they never die, only expand and contract. Argh! this cellulite is going to be my friend forever! Reminds me of these memes I’ve seen recently.

Ofcourse, my engineering friends probably have trauma flashbacks of Young’s Module and Hooke’s Law. Who remembers what these were?

On topic, I like this saying by Thomas A Edison : The most necessary task of civilization is to teach people how to think. It should be the primary purpose of our public schools. The mind of a child is naturally active, it develops through exercise. Give a child plenty of exercise, for body and brain. The trouble with our way of educating is that it does not give elasticity to the mind. It casts the brain into a mold. It insists that the child must accept. It does not encourage original thought or reasoning, and it lays more stress on memory than observation.

But, tell me what do you think – what is elastic. Is Justice in today’s world elastic? #foodforthought

Mindfulness – yes or no?

Hirana …samajh boojh ban charana …

Have you heard this song by classical maestro Pandit Kumar Gandharva? I heard it….no, LISTENED to it properly for the first time today – mindfully, thinking of the lyrics – and the mind was blown. It’s a song I’ve heard many many times before – and I really love it. But, the lyrics are something else altogether.

See, this is my perennial problem with music – I don’t listen to the lyrics, it’s only the melody and the composition that stays with me. And even in the music, I’m not good with percussion – so, really, only the melody….

Most proponents of music are aghast – because the poetry, the bhaav, the “feel” is all obviously in the lyrics. I feel a bit of an interloper in the music world sometimes because of this – I feel I’m really not doing full justice to what the composer-lyricist duo want to say. As an example, in a morning music group that I’m a part of, where everyone is singing/ thinking of/ analysing and applying the words (the group sings songs on spirituality and duality and oneness and nirgunta etc), and everyone is getting moved by the spirit of the songs – I am blithefully oblivious to that – I just trip on the music ( thus for sure depriving myself of the entire experience).

I first heard ….no, LISTENED to the word mindfulness some 12 years ago when my very fit friend said one must eat mindfully – those were the days I was inhaling chola bhatura and mutton biryani as often as I could! Was fairly gobsmacked at the concept and ofcourse immediately rejected it as irrelevant to me (resulting in a 10 kg weight gain in subsequent years – over an already bloated figure!).

But, I find myself reevaluating this concept often now. As an example, the listening to music for me (something that is as essential as breathing almost) is not mindful – hence I suspect the non-attention to the lyrics, and also the inhibited ability to remember songs fully (I actually have a fairly imitative musical ability honed by early training years) but don’t necessarily remember how a song goes beyond some vague tune – simply because I don’t interact with music mindfully.

Actually on the concept of breathing and mindfulness, that is what say pranayama is helping you do – breathe mindfully. Also, shavasana is MINDFULLY telling yourself to relax and become mindless – ooh soo cool! OK, note to self – anulom vilom everyday, Josh!

I try and swim often (that’s the only form of exercise I permit myself to do) – and, ofcourse, in the spirit of gamification (read my past blog) – need to count the laps, and then better them everyday – just creating kutti mental incentives – but then if I’m not swimming mindfully I forget the counting – and probably mess it up.  In the big picture, no sweat but still annoying. Having said that, should swimming be mindful? Maybe that’s what one should aim for – mindless swimming, thus enabling the mind be free to wander around – btw, my swimming time is when my blog ideas come to me – maybe that’s good? So, then, question – is mindfulness good all the time? On the other hand, does it then interfere with multitasking? (read another previous blog)

The time when it DEFINITELY should be applied is while driving – I HATE drivers who hog the middle of the lane – most often trucks or scooters, thereby not allowing small cars like mine to pass by on either side – if only you would, mindfully, enable win-win, wouldn’t it be easier for all. But then, is this behaviour actually willful do you think? In our overpopulated and fiercely competitive country, maybe the only way to stay on top is to make sure the other person is worse than you? Not for you to be better than the other one? What do you think?

Mindful, though, is how I describe my young nephew (much to my kids’ resentment). Scenario – a big family function – think big fat Indian wedding, only substitute a boy’s thread ceremony for wedding. Some 40 house guests for a 4 day function – all organized in a normal Mumbai flat. Obviously there was lots of work, which in true Indian middle class fashion, was being done by all. But, one name stood out in terms of overall omniscience, reliability and just dogged hard work. And that was my nephew Rohan – like I told my cousin his dad later, all our kids are respectful and helpful teenagers – but Rohan is mindful – so, he is actually prescient – he sees that one grand aunt with varicose veins needs a footstool to extend leg, and gets it; realizes when dinner is over that the next step is going to be mattresses rolled out for bedtime and starts on that job; keeps an eye on the panditji performing the rites so he knows when milk is needed, when a matchbox is empty and when the prasad is being called for. All this, because he is mindful.

No shade, but obviously the biggest deterrent to mindfulness is the mobile phone – that’s where the other teenagers were busy, and hence not able to contribute unless specifically asked to do so. This actually is not just restricted to teens, my friend broke a bone in her toe because she was on her screen while walking and tripped on a stone (not mindful walking)…

Talking of teens, just finished reading a teen fantasy fiction series – the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger – in that, kids trigger abilities – by mindfully concentrating on what they need to do….(you should read teen fantasy fic, guys, so addictive)

So, what do you think? What are your examples of being mindful within the corporate scenario and what is the impact? #foodforthought?

Coming to Hirana – there is an inherent note to mindfulness within the lyrics themselves – the caution to the deer of being mindful while grazing – just to avoid the evil hunters. Enjoy…..

Embracing my inner “Geet” – a Women’s Day thought.

My neighbour Lasika (all names changed) – who has been learning the Veena for like 20 years, and has 4 Veenas in her house, had this response to someone who said “oh wow, that’s cool” – “Ah, I’m just learning, I’m not that good”….

My great friend Dipali, who’s been in CXO roles at large MNCs for the last – again 20 years – says when asked to mentor some startups – “I don’t know how much value I’ll add ya…I think I’m too old and my knowledge jaded”…

Another friend Shawna, who has founded and successfully exited startups, and who now runs an NGO, when complimented on the overflowing table she sets for guests, says – “ohhh but Ms. Joshi always feeds people so much better”…

And another friend Parvati who makes the BEST banana bread and superlative sticky toffee pudding, but who always says, “noooo Sangita, I’m not so good”

My very smart very talented daughter, whom everybody loves, is ALWAYS saying sorry – her teacher once told me – “I’ve never seen anyone overapologizing the way she does….”

And I, when told the other night, you sing so well; ofcourse said “oh but my throat is horrible and I sound like a phanta baans” (it was, and I did, but….)

Obviously, Imposter Syndrome is real – and all pervasive! In a ladies-only alumna group that I’m a member of, imposter syndrome and patriarchy are maybe the two words debated most often. This, in a group of highly educated and accomplished ladies. Think about it – If that demographic feels it, then how many women don’t even know the concept – and just live their entire lives feeling inferior or not good enough and assume a more than equal load at all work because they feel that’s all they deserve. 

Yes, part of the reason we feel this way is a desire for excellence and self improvement; part of it a real honest look at self first before raising fingers at others (this used to be my favourite lesson to my girls – remember when you make a fist, 4 fingers are always pointing at you and only one outwards); but most of it is historical/ societal – and therefore a lot of it is conditioning over years and years and years – to not give ourselves enough credit, and to take more than due amounts of blame. 

I don’t need to point out the fact that the average man behaves in exactly the opposite way – caught with a perceived improvement area, will generally bluster and attempt to put the blame on someone else; or, will generally portray higher knowledge than he actually has; or will generally be willing to take credit even when not entirely his due….think long and hard, and tell me if you know ONE man with imposter syndrome….

My only issue with this is, the signal we continuously send with this self deprecation piece is WEAKNESS – NOT humility, NOT shared/ equal responsibility/ NOT self improvement, just WEAKNESS….and that is just plain wrong.

And so, in a run up to Women’s day, I’m going to ask all womanhood for a very small thing –

Nope, it’s NOT educating the girl child (which one must do anyway);  NOT running or attending a workshop on earning your rightful place on the corporate ladder (which if you have access or the desire for, also please go ahead and enroll into); NOT practicing women supporting other women (I mean, duh, please do that anyway – have you watched this clip of Anne Hathaway’s on this? Cute it is); NOT being respectful of all work – big or small (watch the Urban Company ad that I really liked)….

So, girls, gird up your loins (if I were Krishna, I wd say – utho Parth, Gandiv sambhalo) (can I please say that I LOVE the phrase gird up your loins – its SO badass!)

All I’m asking each of you to do is tell yourself EVERY moment (like an affirmation) – “I’m good; and I’m better than (the guy sitting or standing next to you)”…Just that – every single moment. “I’m good; I’m better than (that guy)”. You DON’T have to proclaim this to the rest of the world (unlike the average man), but you DO have to believe this yourself.

Remember Geet from the movie Jab We Met? And her “mai apni favourite hoon” line (at about 4.18 in this clip) – THAT’S what we all need to channel – we all need to be our favourites 

As for me, the next time the random swim instructor at the pool tells me – you “swims” (he really said swims) SO well, I need to say – “thanks tons, I do, don’t I, but how can I swim better”…instead of saying – “ohhh you know, I learnt on my own after I was 30 and I have no technique and that’s why I can’t swim fast.. but I just like it…..”

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY ALL

P.S.: Remember the old Professor Higgins song Why can’t a woman be more like a man? This is what I may recast it as:

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so braggy, have doubts so rare;
Eternally confident, for brashness have a flair.
Who, when you win, will never give your back a pat.
Why can’t a woman be like that?

P.P.S: Take a look at this very women heavy organisation and their cute newsletter for Women’s Day

P.P.P.S: Who are your favourite “girl bosses”? The ones who are their own favourites? (I’m currently enjoying Zeenat Aman)

On 18 hour work days and Quiet Quitting

I get Shantanu Deshpande. I really do – maybe its generational, maybe its just a type; but I have more than a sneaking fellow feeling for him. So does the husband. And so do/ did Roger Federer, Steve Jobs, Indira Gandhi and Amitabh Bachchan.

I mean, I now lead a life which I worry is a very bad example to my kids in how checked out it is – I walk 15k steps a day while taking dog for ambulatory walks; read (and re read) old comfortable books (like Blytons and Potters and Heyers) while generating HUGE tsundoku; attend music groups; avidly follow cooking trends (on that topic – butter boards: yes or no?); clock 8 hours plus on average on several devices; and drink copious amounts of beer on weekends. Thankfully, the husband’s lifestyle is the exact opposite – his day begins at like 5 am-ish, and ends at 1 am-ish – with maybe an hour and a half for other stuff like eating; walking dog. The rest – he is working. (Except for the drinking on weekends). I’m hoping the kids learn from the dad even if they aspire to the mom.

But, this lifestyle of mine came AFTER years of backbreaking slogging – of, in fact, much more than 18 hour workdays – and that, irrespective of whether I worked in a privately held Indian business, a Multinational Corporation, or of course my own venture. I think I’ve recorded this somewhere earlier: when we were running our start-up; given it was in the early days of digital media – so, a very new domain, and completely new roles at entrepreneurship for us partners, also new geographies that were not co- located, we needed to have really long hours, and often, undefined work scope. It was NOT easy – but, as I told some teams who were complaining about the long work hours – ‘nothing you can say about unreasonable hours will astonish me, as I’ve done all this and more’….

So I now feel reasonably guiltless about my life of leisure – I think it is well earned – I’ve paid my dues and am now reaping the reward – the reward is compounded by the fact that I don’t really have a hugely expensive lifestyle and am very happy to just smell the roses as it were.

I think our generation (and definitely those before us) had this very strict effort and reward code – you work hard, you get your reward (in money/ in time/ in success whatever). It was generally acknowledged and proven that you didn’t get good marks unless you slogged, and that meant you didn’t get admissions into good colleges, and that meant you didn’t get good jobs, and that meant you didn’t make good money and that meant you didn’t have a good lifestyle. It was fairly direct correlation, and fairly organic growth.

Also, it was a waterfall sequence related to life cycle stages – work at one phase/ family at the next/ retirement and attendant benefits at the next. And, at the overlapping stages, it entailed constant juggling.

But, I think times have changed drastically (at least in urban middle class cohorts). Maybe it’s the culture of instant gratification, (no waiting in line at STD booth for calls/ hungry at 2 am? just order swiggy/ spent too much this semester? a click and mom wires money…). Maybe it’s the wave of cool start ups – with so many unicorns around that enable exponential payoffs and reward, the newer generations want a non correlated effort-reward equation. As I see it, the newer younger workforce is not willing to submit one’s life at the altar of their jobs.

Hence the uproar on Shantanu Deshpande’s edict (and his subsequent resignation). Hence quiet quitting. Hence the workation trend. Hence the shortening median tenure at a single job (down from 36 odd months to 18 now).

The good part about this – the fact that this generation wants ownership of their time. They feel they are multi dimensional, they want to explore different parts of themselves, and they do not necessarily feel that money is equal to success.

They probably also feel that hard is not equal to smart – which is valid – one doesn’t necessarily want everyone slogging at stuff that could be done quicker/ better – technology now works tirelessly at enabling that very thing. 

The problem with this however is when this desire translates to a work ethic that makes the job just the job, when the commitment/ the drive for excellence/ the passion is not only lacking, it is considered not a good thing. Because, lets face it – there ARE times when you need the 18 hour work day – it’s not ideal, but it’s unavoidable. Because, unicorns and stock options notwithstanding, earning money is not easy – it takes long, unremitting hours very often. And, one has to strike a balance between ensuring good physical and mental health, and giving one’s all to what you are doing.

So, one has to wonder – it’s great that the current generation is making things easier for itself and that hedonism is a quasi virtue, and definitely that folks are prioritising health over everything. But, in the process, are we creating a less hardy/ more entitled generation? When chips are down, will this generation be able to cope? Or am I just too old and cynical? Food for Thought.

Of “Est”s and “Er”s

My friend Kirana, who is writes a lovely travel blog, just wrote one on the Gol Gumbaz, the highest dome in the world. That touched a nerve, because it’s been a long standing bucket list item – in fact, was planned for just pre Covid. 

The reason Bijapur is on the list, though, is the same as the one that made me jump at the prospect of travelling to Cherrapunji (for long the place with the highest rainfall in the world) last year. It’s also the same impulse that made me eagerly volunteer to go to Kharagpur for some crappy workshop in my very first job – I went from Jamshedpur, and spent a fairly average day there – but came away super satisfied that I had seen India’s longest Railway Platform! In 2019, when some friends asked me if I was interested in going to Varanasi with them, (a city I had HATED when I last visited it with my family, due to my memories of the filth and squalor, and the fact that I had my period and my Ganges-mad-granddad wanted me to take a dip in the holy river (fortunately my mum intervened)); I immediately said yes, because they were going on to Bodh Gaya, and I struck a deal with them that we would also visit Nalanda – the oldest university in India, and one of the oldest in the world!

Yes, you’re right – all these are places I remember from the GK books, and the long list of India’s “finest” (longest/ biggest/ highest etc)

OK, time for a quiz then : In India, which is the –

Highest Gateway

Highest Multiple Arch Dam

Largest Monastery

Longest Train Service

Oldest Refinery

Smallest River

But this is not a travel blog – its about the impulse in us which makes us slaves to superlatives – best/ biggest/ first/ fastest/ most…

Maybe it’s an Indian thing – we are born competitive – after all, with 1.3 billion people, how else do you stand out. It’s the Indian parent stereotype, isn’t it?

But actually, its not the “-ests” but generally the “-ers” which drive most of us – these could be comparative vs. the Sharmas or, against our own selves.

One of the most iconic ads of my generation was the Rin ad – which went “bhala uski kameez meri kameez se safed kaise”….

Totally comparative. In fact, some of the Rin ads were banned later – because they were directly comparing P&G’s Tide.

But, honestly, this is what keeps us going right? This search – bigger house, more salary, better college, higher number of steps, lesser number of calories. And it’s a good way to be actually – most of us need a goal to strive for, otherwise rudderless lives generally tend to lose focus. So, irrespective of who this benchmark is – the person next door, or our own standards, an “er” is not a terrible way to live. I think what is important is to a) find benchmarks that make sense b) focus on the process of getting the “er”, and by implication, c) not get disheartened and demoralised if the “er” is looking harder to get than initially hoped for.

But how about when it is physically impossible to better – when say old age slows you down so you start doing lesser? I see my dad. Pre covid, he was an active 85 year old. Come lockdown, and he can hardly walk from one end of the room to another – he is frail”er”, weak”er”, slow”er”….how does it feel I wonder to be seeing these “ers” – the ones trending downwards…..Food For Thought?

Answers to Quiz (in order): Buland Darwaza; Idukki; Tawang; Himsagar Express; Digboi; Arvari

Friendship in the Meta Verse

No, this is not about Chavez and Strange. It’s also not (really) about chatrooms and dating in the Tinder/ Bumble world. I would say it’s an analysis of how a retired person spends her time, and also a commentary on social structures now.

My typical day now is – take dog for morning walk, listen to some awesome music on Machan, a music community started by a young musician during the Pandemic times, then spend some time chatting on my other Whatsap groups – collegemates/ lanemates/ kids’-friends’-parents-who-are-now-friends/ family/ ex colleagues etc etc…and so on. This chat stuff is pretty much ongoing – and leads to most social stuff too…

I spent a friday last month hosting a group of ladies who all went to the same group of educational institutions and now live close to me for drinks, food and conversation – I knew 1 of the 10-12 folks who came. I spent this Saturday with another group of ladies, who all went to the same group of educational institutions, but who are into music in various ways – this hosted by a lady I’ve never met before. Again, out of the 20 odd who attended, I knew 2 folks. I spent one weekend doing a brewery trail with another subset of the same larger group, this time girls all interested in “baking, cooking, traveling”. That group has done a choley bhaturey trail, and a dosa idli/ thindi trail too. One sunday was spent at Cubbon Park, organising an Enid Blyton style picnic for, yes you guessed it right – Enid Blyton enthusiasts in Bangalore. Did a gin trail with some neighbours last weekend – we went to 3 different houses, where we drank interesting gin cocktails and ate some yum food. I even did a gin quiz :).

For a long time, my friends were – neighbours/ school/ college/ work 1/ work 2/ etc…then husband’s school college work 1 work 2, then kids’ friends parents; so, very ordained by demographics.

But the explosion of the virtual medium obviously expanded the specs of friend groups – and made it possible to have “friends” grouped by interests and opinions.

The meta verse therefore made it possible to have friends across demographic barriers – age, geography, gender, SEC

In my parents’ generation, their friends were largely still found in extended family – so, we would celebrate holi diwali picnics with our big family (and have “friend” groups within the family by different age group bands). When I was learning to drive and would take my car out every weekend to practise (because of traffic), my mum who was my companion would always make a relative’s house her destination – she would say “take me to so and so’s house – I don’t want to just drive around or go to the shops or whatever”.

This leads me to think – earlier, you had friends and you did EVERYTHING with them…now you have friends to do different things with – a book club friend to go watch Where the Crawdads Sing; running friends to attempt a baby Iron Man with; friends who would go to an Oktoberfest with you; Music friends whom you can text and gossip with about the Indian Idol Singers; so, the meta verse enabled classical marketing 101 lessons on segmentation and targeting.

In context, as Roger Federer announced his retirement, we saw many tributes to him – some even coming from “frenemies”. Leads one to think – has friendship itself become more multi layered? It was always onion peel structure – besties/ acquaintances/ enemies – but did the meta verse make friendship structures more complex? What is the “new” definition of friendship.

As I was pondering these questions, I asked random Whatsap groups of “friends” what they thought were iconic friendships they could name. Here are the results

Some random questions got thrown out as these were being discussed:

• Doesn’t Indian mythology throw up good examples of Female – Female friendships?
• Can “friendships” exist between men and women or are they of necessity romantic in nature?

So, what do you guys think – what is friendship now; has it changed from when you were younger; what are your favourite examples of “friends”…..Food For Thought!

As for me, all I can say is, “I get along with a little help from my friends” – you all know who you are – Fabulous 4; PNTRMUAA; Ladies Who Lunch; Gandige Swaminies; Gandikota Gang; BCT; Wiimw; Goa Gang; A Block; General GS; Come Takers; Penguins….

Mind your language/ Keeping Up with the Zoomers

Playlist my DD made to introduce me to music she thinks I will like

So apparently one stagnates in music listening at about 33 years of age  – ie, you don’t really broaden your musical horizons once you hit your 30s. I think this is largely true for me – with any additions to my 60s/ 70s music playlist being because of a live concert I attended, or something I learned in a class or for a performance (hence very experiential), or something my kids made me listen to (that poor Avicii was one of those – so also are Mumford and Sons and Arctic Monkeys and Brendon Urie).

Sometimes my friend Rupa, who has two very trendy young adults at home, sends me recos – Prateek Kuhad was one such name (which I learned later put me in the august company of Barack Obama).  

Having said that, when you see a name cropping up in all your kids’ friends’ Instagram pages again and again (yes, I’m stalker mom!), and then see that same name walk away with five Grammies, you know its time to listen to that artist. Hence, on a lazy summer day, I try and search for Billie Eilish (“unapologetically dark, weird, and angsty, Billie Eilish is the anti-pop-star her generation deserves”). DD happens to be looking over my shoulder as I do that, and she says – “ok, listen to “Bad Guy””. And then follows it up with this astounding remark – “Ma, did you know that this video got the most viewed comment on youtube” Huh? What? Say again? This sentence is sooooo weird on so many different levels!  A) A comment on youtube gets viewed? Why??? b) It gets viewed (now) 2.9 million times!!!!!!! woah. What’s WRONG with people? C) The comment is – “I’m the bald guy” by Seth Everman – huh???? Duh? Srsly????? D) Why does the whole world know about this???

I BET I’m the only person of my generation who knows this (I tested this hypothesis, and it was true)….

I thought this, combined with the strange times we live in, is a good time to do a follow up on my old post of new words in the dictionary. Many of these are just Gen Z slang that is interesting/ baffling – I have been stuck with one GenZ-er at home during lockdown so have had many educational episodes about this. Some are words that current affairs have given rise to – may even be in existence for a while, but either weren’t topical earlier, or I hadn’t registered them. I should add, they are mostly words or phrases that I have come across recently in my reading, that I have had to google or ask DDs for the meaning of. In some cases, it is words I have known and used, but only recently discovered the interesting origin of.

As I listed them, they kind of naturally fell into a few clusters:

Phrases where meanings can be kind of derived (or at least understood because they are similar to earlier slang)

Lit – When something is amazing, “popping”, high-energy, or otherwise great. It could also be used to mean intoxicated or drunk (boomer equivalent was loaded I guess in that context)

Fam/ Squad – Used to describe those you consider close friends. DD texts on this group of family friends – “Hey fam, see I made lit chicken”.

Fire – Something that is cool (oh well, or hot) and amazing.  “The chicken was fire.” The boomer slang equivalent of “fire” is “groovy” – though groovy normally implied music. “That album is groovy.”

Goals – A term used to describe what someone wants in their life (I’ve seen it most often in comments on Insta – “Couple goals, squad goals”, or just “Goals”). 

Mood – Used as “same here”/ relatable/ summing up one’s life. Example: “That old man is such a mood.”, or just “mood”! (GenZ is certainly economical with words)

Hangry – Hungry + angry (anger usually a result of the hunger) – every mum knows this one, it just took Gen Z to coin a word for it. I would have also used Slangry (sleepy + angry). (Umm, apparently ”Horngry” is another popular term)

Gucci – Comes from the high-end fashion brand. Another way to say “good,” “chill,” or “awesome.” For example: “Is that fine with you?” “Yeah brother, it’s Gucci.” Incidentally, brother does not mean male sibling – it is just a form of address

Flex – Knowingly flaunt and show off, or, the thing being shown off . “That car’s a flex.” 

No cap – Seriously. “I could really do with a burger right now no cap.”

Netflix party – A virtual hangout zone where folks watch the same shows or movies together (I was lulled into thinking one could watch each other like VR or something – much to my disappointment, my daughter watched the same show many miles across a sea, while we watched it at home. The only difference, one could text each other at appropriate moments to say – oooh this scene is so lit! 

Hipster Babu

Hipster – While the word can be traced back to the 1930s, with the “hip” person being the one who knew all about, say, jazz; interestingly, for the Gen Z, all millenials are hipsters. Every generation needs a derisive label for their trendy young people – the peace-loving boomers in the 1960s were hippies (some scholars speculate that “hipster” became “hippie,” before then coming back again). But this one is a reverse trend – Millennials in the 2010s became vintage flannel and skinny jean-wearing/ retro-tech loving hipsters. My older daughter, when she had her very annoying “messy bun” hairdo, was called “hipster babu” by my younger daughter and her friends.

 

Smol – Extremely small and cute; or, extremely large and cute in an ironic way. Basically, just cute. I always thought this was a bad spelling thing when I saw it on the kids’ posts – but no, its genuine!

Doggo/Pupper – Yes, dog – every gen must say ordinary things differently I guess.

Henlo – A dog’s way of saying “hello”.  

Queen/Kween – You use this phrase to hype your friends or yourself.  “YAAAS QUEEN”

Adulting – its the millenials/ Gen Z doing adult things such as paying bills, getting insurance, getting a job etc. (my older one and her friends constantly bewail adulting. Specially when cooking/ doing laundry)

Finsta – Short for “fake Instagram.” A second Instagram account that someone has, typically used for memes, inside jokes, etc., only for the eyes of close friends. ALL the kids I pride myself on being friends with on Insta, have finstas – and NONE OF THEM accepts my invites for those accounts 😦

Basic – Refers to someone who is unoriginal and only follows mainstream trends. One has to say this as “ya’ basic” apparently – a famous moment of the Gen Z fave show the Good Place. 

Can’t even – An expression that denotes various emotional responses when a person can’t comprehend what was said or what’s happening. “Ms. X. is going on and on in English. Zahaan is snoring. Im dying, I can’t even!”

Boujee – Someone who enjoys the lavish and extravagant things in life. One assumes this is derived from Bourgeois/ Bourgeoisie (with similar insulting overtones) – but with nuances of middle class vs. lavish

 Flashpacking – Backpacking with a slightly larger budget. Sometimes, also known as “champagne backpacking.”

Mankini – A brief one-piece bathing garment for men, with a T-back. Interestingly, in my old list, I had featured Burquini.

Muffin Top : A roll of fat visible above the top of a pair of women’s tight-fitting low-waisted trousers. (That’s me, even in high waisted not tight fitting trousers)

Grocerant – Any store selling a retail food item that is ready-to-eat or ready-to-heat. 

Voluntold – The exact opposite of volunteering. Always used in reference to an unpleasant task to which you have been assigned by your boss. “Her mother voluntold her for the job”

And last, but not the least: 

Clap Those Cheeks – A euphemism for sex

 

Strange Gen Z phrases that I have learnt from DDs/ their friends and my family now uses as common lingo – albeit wrongly very often

No U – A deflection, NO U is a sarcastic way of pointing out that the Original Poster’s [OP] comments apply more to himself and not to the one he/she/they are trolling. Sometimes is also used kindly – as in Insta, a pretty picture has – “hawwwttttieee”, and then the OP says “No U”.

OK Boomer : Generation Z’s dismissive response to suggestions from anybody older. A suitable riposte nowadays for Gen Z could be, Ok Zoomer – which is, however, very “cringe”. 

Slaps – Positive term for anything cool, but most frequently used to describe a good song: “That song really slaps.”

Stan – A “stalker fan.” You’re not just a fan; you’re a huge fan on the verge of stalking (but not in a creepy way!). As our friend Gaurav, who loves geeky facts, gleefully told my DD at the end of a Gen Z slang education session, it originated from an Eminem song of the same name. It is however, used more, for some odd reason, with a plural first person pronoun. So, “we stan Sangita auntie”!

Tea – The scoop or gossip. “Spill the tea.” “Tea” is also used when one is agreeing with a point someone has just said. “Last night was a mess. “Tea.” The boomer slang equivalent of “tea” is “the skinny.” 

Thicc – Pleasantly plump; curvy in the right places (especially the butt or thighs). This is my favourite Gen Z word – just because a) it applies to me, and b) its so delightful! 

VSCO Girl – A really “basic” white girl who usually has a hydro flask and a metal straw; uses terms like “sksksks”; wears shell necklaces, scrunchies, oversized t-shirts, short shorts, and Birkenstocks; and talks a lot about saving the turtles. They’re named after a picture editing app called VSCO (pronounced visco).

Salty – To be “salty” is to be annoyed, upset, or bitter, usually about something minor. The boomer slang equivalent of “salty” is “ticked off.”

Bop/Banger – If a song is really good or enjoyable, it’s a “bop” or a “banger”. The usage is contentious in my household – my VERY boomer husband (even by my standards) has been trying to get this right – with various attempts of – “A, this is a bopping song”, evoking gales of mirth from A

Cancelled – If someone does something the internet deems “problematic”, they are “cancelled”. When Divit was bullying my nephew Ben, the girls said, “Divit is cancelled”. “Trump needs to get cancelled already.” However, Cancel culture = Boycotting/ Removing something or someone out of your life, usually following a controversial or offensive statement. This can get quite toxic as you can imagine

Yeet = Throw Out. Used beautifully by a young friend while teaching History to DD.

Yeet – coming originally from basketball, it meant an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, or all-around energy. But now it has morphed to also meaning – “throwing out”.

 

 

 

Abbreviations. Yes, more of! We did say this is the age of economy – “soz” has become a family catchphrase.

Hmu – An acronym for “hit me up” which could refer to hanging out, texting, or talking on the phone.

Fr – Short for for real. Example: “I mean it, fr.”

Tfw – Short for that feel(ing) when. “Tfw you’re ready for lockdown to end but the Corona stat reaches half a million”

W = Short for “win”. “Today I got out of bed at noon and that’s a W for me.”

ITL – “Invited to leave”; that is, firing someone.

UTTR – “Up and to the right”, like a graph of a trend of growth pre Corona

GAFA – Google Amazon Facebook apple

Af = Short for as f**k. Means “extremely”. “I’m tired af.” This one, given the context, I couldn’t even guess at (I kept thinking – after the fact???) – so I asked DD – and she was like, ma, I’m not going to say it!

Idgaf – yes you got it – I don’t give a f@$k. (Also a song by Dua Lipa)

TERFs – Coined in 2008 by Viv Smythe, ‘terf’ is an acronym for trans-exclusionary radical feminist. Implies those who reject that trans women are women, assert the exclusion of trans women from women’s spaces and are opposed to transgender rights legislation. In the spotlight recently due to Rowling’s recent transphobic tweet, ‘Terf’ became the most searched query on Google

 

Technology led phrases

Pwned – Having origins in video game culture, “pwned” is used to imply that someone has been controlled or compromised (kind of like owned – o and p are next to each other on the keypad). “Have I Been Pwned” is a website that allows Internet users to check whether their personal data has been hacked into.

Ambient computing –  Ambient computing refers to technologies that allow people to use a computer without realizing they’re doing it – its a combination of hardware, software, user experience and machine/human interaction and learning – a variety of technologies, including motion tracking, speech recognition, gestures, wearables, and artificial intelligence to achieve this goal. 

“Vision” from the Avengers Series – Super Intelligence done well 

Super intelligence –  An intellect that is much smarter than the best human brains in practically every field, including scientific creativity, general wisdom and social skills. It could be a digital computer, an ensemble of networked computers or cultured cortical tissue. Elon Musk fears it – says could be a immortal dictator/ more dangerous than nuclear warheads. Bill Gates endorses this view.

Slide Into Their DMs – A phrase used to signify that one wants to send a flirtatious message over social media.

@ me next time – This term originated on Twitter, where you could “subtweet” someone, that is, talk about them indirectly. Telling someone to “@” you is telling them to stop being shady and talk to you directly 

Derp – Used as a substitute for speech regarded as meaningless or stupid, or to comment on a foolish or stupid action. Derp is often used for a character or an act (derping) not crucial to the story-telling, primarily in rage comics. Derp comes with facial expressions and has a female counterpart named Derpina.

Noob – A person who is inexperienced in a particular sphere or activity, especially computing. The word came from “newbie”. It almost became the millionth word of the English language in 2009, a title that went to “Web 2.0” instead.

Vanity Metrics – Vanity metrics are an outdated form of measurement on social media like the followers on your account or the number of likes on a post. 

Micro-moments – The moment that people turn to a device to get immediate information that will help them to make a decision, resolve a problem, buy something or go somewhere. 

Seenzone/ Ghosting – Seeing a message but not replying ; if done frequently, normally is a precursor of ghosting – which I ending communication without warning

 

Topical Phrases 

Snowflake Generation – The young adults of the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient, living in a cocoon of righteousness, and more prone to taking offence (hypersensitive)  than previous generations. It came from GenX parents calling their children unique (or snowflakes). Now a favoured phrase of some tabloids for expressing generic disdain for young people who are behaving differently from people older than them (young people are having less sex, or drinking less alcohol, or having less fun.) 

Fatberg – A very large mass of solid waste in a sewerage system, consisting especially of congealed fat and personal hygiene products that have been flushed down toilets.

Outrospection – (coined by Roman Krznaric) A method in which you get to know oneself by stepping outside of yourself, developing relationships and empathetic thinking with others. 

Poverty Porn – also known as development porn, famine porn, or stereotype porn, has been defined as “any type of media, be it written, photographed or filmed, which exploits the poor’s condition in order to generate the necessary sympathy for selling newspapers, increasing charitable donations, or support for a given cause”. Ed Sheeran was unwittingly guilty of poverty porn in his 2017 plea for the poor for Comic Relief, as hero-Ed narrates his sorrow while the camera zooms on nameless children sleeping rough on a beach. 

Weasel Words – Words and phrases aimed at creating an impression that something specific and meaningful has been said, when in fact only a vague or ambiguous claim has been communicated.

Some new words in Oxfordenglish dictionary:

Mentionitis – A tendency towards repeatedly or habitually mentioning something, esp. the name of a person one is attracted to or infatuated with, regardless of its relevance to the topic of conversation.

Freegan – A person who believes it is wrong to throw away food when millions of people around the world are hungry. They only eat food they can get for free, which would usually have been thrown out or waste. Often freegans rely on food found in supermarket dumpsters.

Microaggressions – A term used for brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioural, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalized groups – “for a black person, you are beautiful”. Long ago, a colleague told me, meaning this as a compliment, “you work like a man”.

Gaslighting – Undermine someone by psychological means such that they doubt their own sanity. Oxford Dictionaries named it one of the most popular words of 2018: The phrase originated from a 1938 mystery thriller written by British playwright Patrick Hamilton called Gas Light, made into a popular movie in 1944 starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In the film, husband Gregory manipulates his adoring, trusting wife Paula into believing she can no longer trust her own perceptions of reality. In one pivotal scene, Gregory causes the gaslights in the house to flicker by turning them on in the attic of the house. Yet when Paula asks why the gaslights are flickering, he insists that it’s not really happening and that it’s all in her mind, causing her to doubt her self-perception. Hence the term “gaslighting” was born.

My daughter recently accused me of gaslighting her about her singing – it was not pretty. Trump’s rhetoric , specially about immigration, and the pandemic, has all been gaslighting.

Virtue Signalling – The sharing of one’s point of view on a social or political issue, often on social media, in order to garner praise or acknowledgment of one’s righteousness from others who share that point of view, or to passively rebuke those who do not. In an era where keeping silent is probably as much a crime as expressing your opinion on, say, social media, what demarcates virtue signalling and passionate expression of solidarity?

Red pilling – Becoming enlightened to the truth about reality, especially a truth that is difficult to accept or exposes disillusions. Red pill is especially used among anti-feminist and white supremacist groups to refer to “waking up” to the truth that women and liberal politics are oppressing men and white people. Elon Musk recently tweeted “take the red pill” – arguably indicating a greater rightward shift in his political views. 

Colorism – Specially relevant now given HUL’s dropping the word “fair” from its iconic product, colorism is a bit different from racism in that it can refer to prejudge based on shades of colour even amongst the same race  – “wanted tall fair educated girl for marriage”

Bi-erasure – Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality.

I must confess a recent blooper of mine in context – not quite having internalised the gender spectrum (with ABC News having found 58 gender option in Facebook’s new move) , I was confused between bisexual and pansexual. Took the DD to explain.

Lumbersexual – A “not-so-manly” man dressing like a lumberjack (although a lot more refined) and sporting a beard that has the volume of a lumberjacks beard and the groom of a hipster, cashing in on the “rugged, outdoor stereotype”. Interestingly enough, my earlier list had gastrosexual.

Holacracy – A system of corporate governance whereby members of a team or business form distinct, autonomous, yet symbiotic, teams to accomplish tasks and company goals. Corporate hierarchy is discarded in favor of a flat organizational structure where all workers have an equal voice while simultaneously answering to the direction of shared authority. Zappos.com, with 1,500 employees, is the largest company to adopt Holacracy

 

Coronavirus Lexicon.

In this context, the very word pandemic was for me not such a frequently used/ heard one. So also, social distancing, when I first heard it, I thought was witty. Now ofcourse, it’s our way of life. Coronapocalyse/ Coronageddon are kind of obvious. Index Patient and Super Spreader also became common usage. The few new words I found interesting/ funny were:

Infodemic – an excessive amount of information about a problem, which is sometimes incorrect and can have a negative effect on finding a solution

Doom scrolling – constantly refreshing our feeds for the latest news about the pandemic

Miss Rona  – Gen Z call the virus itself “Miss Rona” or simply, “The Rona.” IN a bit of gallows humour, it was also more callously called the “Boomer Remover.” Now of course the virus seems less ageist.

Wfh = wifi hell = wear fear heroically

Pancession – a pandemic-associated widespread economic recession

Coronaverse – The now prevailing socio-economic order

Coronanoia – paranoia induced by conditions obtaining in the pandemic

Covidiot / moronavirus – slang insult for someone who disregards healthy and safety guidelines about the novel coronavirus.

Quarantini/ Coronarita  – The original quarantini referred to a martini-like cocktail mixed with vitamin C-based dietary supplements. Now these are cocktails made at home with available ingredients

Isobar – a home bar stocked, displayed and/or depleted in confinement

Zoombombing – amid security concerns for zoom, it is basically hacking into. Zoom conference

Zumping – A blend of dump and Zoom, zumping is when you break up with someone over a video conferencing service.

Fomites: inanimate objects whose surfaces can become contaminated with pathogens when touched by the carrier of an infection and can then transmit the pathogens to those who next touch the surfaces

Covexit – The strategy for exiting lockdown

Blursday – An unspecified day because of lockdown’s disorientating effect on time

Infits – outfits worn in conditions of confinement

Quaranqueens – a woman excelling during lockdown, particularly one excessively cleaning and tidying

Smizing – Smiling with the eyes, as when wearing a facemask

Elbump – an elbow contact in place of handshaking or other physical greeting

Coronadodge – swerving to avoid passers-by to comply with distance restrictions

 

Plain Confusing Phrases (that common sense would tell you should mean something else)

OTP – Not the annoying One Time Password, this one stands for “One True Pairing;” , or, your favourite “ship” (Some 5 years ago, I was the “kween” of an old friends’ reunion, when I explain “ship” to them – Virushka/ Brangelina being the ones they could relate to).

Instagram baddie – A woman who always look flawless. 

Let’s Get This Bread! – A pep talk expression similar to “Let’s do this! We got this, guys!” 

Sksksksksksksks – the new Gen Z sign of laughter, replacing “hahahaha.” (similar to a fam squad we once had, which due to the initials, was unimaginatively named sknsrkms)

Snacc – An attractive person; someone that looks so good that you want to eat them for a snack.  

Fit – Shortened version of outfit. “She had on a fire fit at the party.” The boomer slang equivalent of “fit” is “threads.” 

Wig – Something amazing – so shock inciting that one’s wig flies off! (maybe that’s why the “I’m bald guy comment” got viewed so often) The very colourless boomer slang equivalent of “wig” maybe, is “fab”? 

Creps – Not something you eat, it’s Sneakers.

Dank – Not dark, but of high quality. For example: “Did you see those dank memes I sent you?”

Dzaddy – an attractive man. (“Did you see how good he looks today?” “Yeah, what a dzaddy!” ) Electra complex, much?

G – A term of endearment you’d use with a friend or acquaintance. “What’s up my G?” Short for “gangster” or “gangsta”. Huh??? Really?

Hard – When something is really cool. “Have you seen his new shoes?” “Yeah those are hard!” Same as Lit or Fire, but less comprehensible in usage

E-boy/-girl – Gen Z’s hybrid version of emo/goth. A style that includes wearing a lot of black, neon and chains, drawing small black hearts drawn under their eyes, using a lot of blush, and having bangs. Millennials usually think the “e” stands for emo, but it actually stands for “electronic”.

As I was finishing up this list, I chanced upon the New words in Oxford English dictionary. Some that I did not know of (and could never have figured out) are:

Bagel – To beat (an opponent) by a score of six games to love in a set. 

Chop-chop – Bribery and corruption in public life; misappropriation or embezzlement of funds. 

Franger – A condom

Noonie – The female genitals; the vulva or vagina (mainly Brit usage)

Jam – Among homosexual people, designating a heterosexual person 

Tokunbo – Denoting an imported second-hand product, esp. a car

My UFO – a memory blanket

UFO – In knitting, sewing, quilting, etc,  an unfinished piece of work; a project left uncompleted.

 

 

 

 

 

As I end this long list, I thought of who would appreciate this post – and I realised that it probably will be folks of my generation really. I found this news item about a teacher who compiled a list of Gen z slang very relatable.  – teaching done right

Ofcourse, Gen Z is not the only gen with slangs – in the spirit of weasel words, Boomers probably invented meaningless corporate speak. Infact my DD gets her own back on bopping/ bantering dad when she gets him with #thematic #skininthegame. 

As Eilish would say, “Don’t say thank you or please; I do what I want when I’m wanting to”

Going BatShit Crazy

So it’s apocalypse now. Almost. Financial markets have tumbled, Airlines and the travel industry are going bankrupt, toilet paper, sanitisers and masks have run out on shop aisles, and grocery stores are seeing huge lines in the U.S. This of course as only a secondary fallout to the massive scale of the human tragedy – hundreds of thousands infected, nearly ten thousand dead, and many many overworked and fatigued heathcare workers.

But a few interesting things that the CoronaVirus turned inside out:

Yesterday’s super unicorn Uber is now taboo – in today’s world of social distancing, any behaviour that involves sharing resources, is forbidden. So, no co-working/ no co living/ no airbnb. 

From Trump rooting for the wall separating the U.S. and Mexico, Mexico is now shutting its borders to the U.S. All of history, the underdeveloped/ underdogs African countries are now moving to restrict visitors from Europe and the world. 

Equity analysts are becoming epidemiologists just like their becoming super specialist psephologists just prior to Elections (this despite the 2003 JPMorgan wildly unvalidated predictions about the SARS epidemic)  

Ibuprofen is no longer a good medicine – there are studies to show a correlation between higher seriousness of disease pathways in Italy and treatment with Ibuprofen. 

Even Terrorists are curbing travel and terror plans – “The Isis terrorist group is steering clear of Europe because of the coronavirus. Having previously urged its supporters to attack European cities, the group is now advising members to “stay away from the land of the epidemic” in case they become infected,” The Times of London reports.

Ice cream is bad for you, hot water is good!  KFC has pulled out a “fingerlickin’ good” chicken campaign based on people licking their fingers while eating on hygiene grounds.

Many companies are pivoting to meet the business demands – LVMH is using its perfume and cosmetics factories to manufacture free hand sanitisers, restaurants and food companies are now doing “to-go” packets, and free food distribution. 

Haircuts are being managed with long sticks, and many folks will now follow me on #embracingtheirgreys (there are memes floating around on the real hair colour of people now being revealed)

Interestingly, there was this large fear on technology probably making a lot of jobs redundant due to automation – except for “human touch point” ones like the creative arts, nursing, sports etc. Now, those are the industries facing the biggest threats – Broadway shut down, so did Disney, the IPL got postponed, the WTA tour got cancelled, so did football, basketball, F1 fixtures, the French Open, and maybe even the Olympics – all “experiences” are grinding to a halt.

There is a lesson here of the David vs. Goliath variety – we were chasing BIG – bigger TV screens, bigger houses, economies of scale – and then, the entire human race has been brought to its knees by a micro-organism, the size of like a 100 nano microns! (thats 0.000000001 cm!!)

With divorce rates in China on the rise thanks to stay at home mandates, Welcome to Love in the time of Corona – with the possible future generation of coronials and quaranteens. 

Armchair Stories, and making them Real

The scene in most households nowadays is probably similar – TV on full blast with stories on coronavirus spread; or elections; or riots; or climate change ; or failing economies – most are macro issues – and most can serve as debate topics for hours on end. Ours has pretty much the same thing – with, depending on how much media you have consumed, how opinionated you are; and how you lean, you hold sway (or not) in the family debate.

Armchair stories all! We are all self proclaimed experts on many topics – I self confessedly am an armchair expert on tennis – I can advise Serena, Fed or Rafa where the next ball should be lobbed or dropped or smashed (as opposed to most of my countrymen who can bat and ball with the best of them from the safety of their sofas) ; and of course my blog is active manifestation of my armchair expertise on all things tech/ entrepreneurial/ management-ish. I am also the BEST parenting expert – to other people! The other day when a friend called lamenting her 12 year old’s goth phase, complete with dress/ music/ horror movie sense, I gave her long and sound advice. But, come 3.30 pm, when one child comes out from school all hot, bothered and grumpy; or 9 pm, and the other child’s “ma” message appears on whatsap, phusss……all my gyan fizzles out of me. 

Whatsap specially is a huge playing ground for armchair expertise – the number of treatise on any current topic (or historical for the matter), is just too large to even wade through on an ordinary day. But even otherwise, one is surrounded by cerebral gyan – even right at the moment I am hiding in one nook of my room furiously typing this out to get away from a family member spouting virology and politics. I know a person who actually writes reviews and other online content on things that he hasn’t even experienced – so a book review by reading the summary (similar to child attempting English literature exam after reading spark notes); a review of Patal Bhuvaneshwar mandir based on the description of relatives; and so on.

In this day and age therefore, I am very very impressed and inspired by my friend Srikanth Narasimhan. Srikanth was an investment banker (a profession he adopted after passing out of my alma mater IIM Bangalore). He happens to have been the banker who helped sell our company, chosen after many interviews with other candidates across geographies, for his sound “elder brotherly” advice. Srikanth has now given up investment banking to start a new political party! Yes, you heard it right! He had been an active member of his apartment building’s RWA – but over the years felt the need and drive to take a more active part in changing the many things that are wrong with Bangalore – solid waste management and sanitation, infrastructure, health, education. And his theory was, that this can only be done via an active participation in governance.

Hence, the Bengaluru Navanirmana Party. BNP is a party that is of the citizens of Bengaluru, for the citizens of Bengaluru, and by the citizens of Bengaluru. This is a party created from scratch, with no political affiliations – a bit like what the AAP should have been, but was not! The party is aiming to contest the 2020 BBMP elections from all wards – it has volunteers and members from across Bangalore – activists/ lawyers/ business people/ corporate employees/ educators/ NGO folks, common man, basically a whole gamut. The core group, which is the Governing Council and the Executive Council plus Functional Heads, is a really senior, dedicated and passionate lot – most have already been working at various individual and collective levels to better the plights of their immediate surroundings, sometimes even wider. This despite other full time commitments in many cases. (As Srikanth had said to me, the BNP team is what makes the party – they are all committedly working on the ground). The idea is to focus local/ Bangalore only issues but do it from the inside. The party already has some 20 odd corporator candidates identified and ready, has been enrolling members steadily, and just last weekend held a rally to gain momentum. 

BNP Rally For Bengaluru

One of the party’s manifestos focuses the situation of the Pourakarmikas. The laudable India wide mandate of Swachcha Bharat that the PM laid down a while ago cannot be achieved if the sanitation workers’ plight is pathetic. Similarly, another one tackles the issues that apartment dwellers (a large percentage) in Bangalore face. 

When Srikanth first told us about the party, he had apparently not even broken the news to his wife. I assume she was fairly supportive, and since then, the party has seen much positive action. I am, as I told Srikanth, very very impressed – I think he puts all of us armchair commentators on governance to shame. It is very very easy to sit in cushy living rooms and argue about what should and should not be done – but to put your money where your mouth is, brave indeed! 

After all, If not we, then who. If not now, then when! Power to Srikanth! Down with Armchair experts! (PS: If in Bangalore, enrol into the party)

Bouncers, Googlies and Swinging From the Fences

I REALLY like Bill Gates. I mean, REALLY REALLY like him. (I don’t much like his PCs, though I’m definitely the generation that uses MSOffice far more than Google docs which my daughters use). But I really like him.

I like that he started Microsoft when he was 20. That he was the richest guy in the world for many years. That he quit when ahead and started philanthropy actively. That he doesn’t plan to leave his wealth to his kids. That he has really middle class values as a parent. That he plays these cute games for Match for Africa fund raisers with Roger Federer, who is another guy I REALLY like. That the ceiling of his large home library is engraved with a quotation from The Great Gatsby. Oh, and that his house has the Judy Garland red slippers from the Wizard of Oz, and the costumes from the Sound of Music. And a trampoline room. And is called Xanadu. 

I like that when he was a kid, “he preferred to stay in his room where he would shout “I’m thinking” when his mother asked what he was doing”. That when automating his school’s class-scheduling system, Gates modified the code so that he was placed in classes with “a disproportionate number of interesting girls”. That his algorithm for pancake sorting held the record as the fastest version for over 30 years. That he chose a pre-law major but took mathematics and graduate level computer science courses at Harvard, but dropped out after 2 years. That he is colour blind.

All this despite his combative personal style, and his controversial Anti trust actions.

But I like MOST the work that he and Melinda are doing with the Gates Foundation, the world’s largest private charitable foundation.

Their recent annual letter has seen much accolade, and also generated much criticism. But for me, there were a few interesting lessons to take away. 

A) The Smartness of Pivot : The startup eco system will tell you that success almost warrants frequent pivots from the original idea – in a marketplace that is changing every second, the original idea you began with may need several mods, and sometimes complete turnarounds before it sees acceptance. Bill and Melinda seem to exemplify this in their letter – they have changed their strategy in education in the U.S. , from granting scholarships to a few very bright people to funding larger areas – the entire public school system in the U.S., therefore. “Our goal is to help make a huge difference for all U.S. students, so we’ve pivoted most of our work from scholarships to areas that can have more impact for more students”

Similarly, in HIV treatment, the focus from daily preventive vaginal gel , that would be effective if adherence was sound, but is not; to a longer lasting treatment – where compliance is easier, and therefore efficacy is higher. “We’re looking for new treatments that can be taken less frequently, as much as a year apart”

This also leads me to the next lesson:

B) The Power of Admitting Failure/ Saying sorry:  “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

I read some criticism on this year’s letter, some of it directed at the fact that so much of what the Gates did apparently hasn’t worked. Honestly, a) it’s their (ok, and some other folks like Warren Buffet’s) money primarily. And b) actually, at least they are being upfront and admitting failure – which for celebrities like them, must be a big deal. I think partly, this failure is almost mandatory in the model the Gates are following – hence the “swinging for the fences” analogy. By definition, one will either hit home run, or strike out! But also, somewhere within it, the Gates have defined the slot that their foundation and other philanthropic organisations need to occupy. “At its best, philanthropy takes risks that governments can’t and corporations won’t. Governments need to focus most of their resources on scaling proven solutions. Businesses have fiduciary responsibilities to their shareholders. But foundations like ours have the freedom to test out ideas that might not otherwise get tried, some of which may lead to breakthroughs”. 

This then leads to the “why” of the slower success in Education that the Gates have seen. And that is, that

C) Education is the basic welfare activity, but maybe the toughest to execute:

I recently also watched a ted talk by Atishi Marlena (apparently after Marx and Lenin), a member of the Parliamentary Affairs committee for AAP, a Rhodes Scholar, and one of the key people behind the Education Reforms that Government School in Delhi have seen. It’s impressive to say the least (and a must watch if you haven’t yet), (After all, FLOTUS Melania attended a Happiness Class in Delhi and is continuing to tweet about her Indian experience! ). But a striking fact is the one about dignity to the public school classroom – and that being the backbone to any reform. 

The Gates’ letter says the same thing. “In 2001, … Deborah Meier …Her book The Power of Their Ideas helped me understand why public schools are not only an important equalizer but the engine of a thriving democracy. A democracy requires equal participation from everyone, she writes. That means when our public schools fail to prepare students to fully participate in public life, they fail our country, too.”

I think the biggest pity in India is that the basics of Health, Education, Infrastructure and Utilities like Electricity, Water, Roads, Transport and above all Safety that the government should be guaranteeing is not happening, and hence philanthropy is stepping in where the government needs to.

The Gates go on to explain why their educational reforms have had lukewarm success. And it is largely because of the issue of:

D) Localisation: “Businesses that scale and those that don’t scale… It became clear to us that scaling in education doesn’t mean getting the same solution out to everyone. Our work needed to be tailored to the specific needs of teachers and students in the places we were trying to reach. We’ve shifted our primary focus in K-12 to locally driven solutions identified by networks of schools. Our hope is that these Networks for School Improvement will increase the number of Black, Latinx, and low-income students who graduate from high school and pursue postsecondary opportunities.”

This is an essential lessons that global/ multinational companies learn/ need to learn. One apparently that Microsoft hasn’t learnt that well in its gaming business. But, many others have – the most reputed being Nestle (goat’s milk instead of cow’s milk and loquat, gouge used as ingredients in China; matcha flavour KitKat in Japan); McDonald’s (Paneer Wrap; Veg only restaurants in India); Coke (Coke friends campaign having been customised to suit the needs of the local markets). But also Netflix, who showed rapid expansion in international markets due largely to their local language sub titles, dubbed version content, and originals. They’ve even localized the app navigation and UI for different countries. 

The Gates Foundation realised that they needed local solutions grounded in reality to meet the challenges of education. It wasn’t all the fault of a single global approach though. Education is tricky. As they say – “But one thing that makes improving education tricky is that even among people who work on the issue, there isn’t much agreement on what works and what doesn’t. In global health, we know that if children receive the measles vaccine, they will be protected against the disease, which means they’re more likely to survive. But there’s no consensus on cause and effect in education. Are charter schools good or bad? Should the school day be shorter or longer? Is this lesson plan for fractions better than that one? Educators haven’t been able to answer those questions with enough certainty to establish clear best practices. It’s also hard to isolate any single intervention and say it made all the difference. Getting a child through high school requires at least 13 years of instruction enabled by hundreds of teachers, administrators, and local, state, and national policymakers. The process is so cumulative that changing the ultimate outcome requires intervention at many different stages.”

E) Last Mile – Is the proverbial holy grail. This is where many companies fail. And many others make the cut as successes. Flipkart made such inroads into the Indian market, due largely to its logistics that was able to reach customers, aided by its revolutionary COD policy. In sharp contrast, most government welfare schemes do not benefit the real beneficiaries, ending instead in the coffers of the infamous middlemen. (The Direct Benefit Transfer schemes by the government were actually policy measures to eliminate middlemen and have technology enabled last mile benefits, but the efficacy still has gaps). The Gates Foundation is no different. “Today, 86 percent of children around the world receive basic immunizations. …But reaching the last 14 percent is going to be much harder than reaching the first 86 percent. The children in this group are some of the most marginalized children in the world….Frustratingly, some live just a few hundred meters from a health facility but are invisible to the health system”

This is a real lesson for any business – the focus to the last mile has to be out of context and Pareto – otherwise the balance efforts go waste. 

F) The Benefit of collaboration – I only last week wrote this piece on cooptition, which is kind of what the Gates are rooting for also. They are very bullish on Gavi – the vaccine alliance; the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria, DREAMS, The Global Polio Eradication Fund amongst others. “We worked with the World Health Organization, the World Bank, and UNICEF to create Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance. Gavi brings together governments and other organizations to raise funds to buy vaccines and support low-income countries as they deliver them to children……Rather than focus on one-size-fits-all solutions, our foundation wants to create opportunities for schools to learn from each other. What worked at North-Grand won’t work everywhere. That’s why it’s important that other schools in other networks share their success stories, too”

G) Accident of birth – These are dark times across the world as we see increasing levels of intolerance and homophobia. People are fighting, even killing on grounds of religion, caste, colour, sex, behaviour, attitude, and sometimes for no reason at all. In these times, it is really important to remember that if it were not for an accident of birth, you could very well be the person you are hating on! As Melinda said, “I met a woman who asked me to take her newborn home with me because she couldn’t imagine how she could afford to take care of him. I met sex workers in Thailand who helped me understand that if I had been born in their place, I, too, would do whatever it took to feed my family”. This fact was brought home to me quite powerfully the other day when my mother in law’s caregiver, a Koran reading, namaz offering muslim girl, last Friday requested me to take her to a Sai Baba mandir and then a hanuman mandir – she said that when she first ran away from home to Bombay, she prayed at these temples and was able to keep herself safe and well fed. So much for different Gods! I saw a really powerful visual today that in fact my mum had put on Facebook that underscores this really well. 

H) Strategy vs. Execution – Bill and Melinda made the clear distinction between the 2 –  “To be clear, the risks we take are different from the ones the true heroes of global progress take all the time: the health workers who brave war zones to get vaccines to children who need them, the teachers who sign up to work in the most challenging schools, the women in the world’s poorest places who stand up against cultural norms and traditions designed to keep them down. What they do requires personal sacrifices we never have to make—and we try to honor them by supporting innovations that might one day make their lives easier”. Given their influence and wealth, and given many even large problems require local or micro solutions, this is an optimal route. I think for us in everyday lives, and certainly in professional ones, we have to differentiate between doing vs. managing and decide where is time best spent. Narayan Murthy once said, we Indians are very poor at execution. 

Some other quotes that struck me as relevant from the letter were:

– “Disease is both a symptom and a cause of inequality, while public education is a driver of equality”

– “When more women have a voice in the rooms where decisions are made, more of those decisions will benefit all of us…. that our economies are built on the back of women’s unpaid labor”

– “Tackling climate change is going to demand historic levels of global cooperation, unprecedented amounts of innovation in nearly every sector of the economy, widespread deployment of today’s clean-energy solutions like solar and wind, and a concerted effort to work with the people who are most vulnerable to a warmer world”. By the way, my daughter along with her friends and what looked like pretty much the whole of Bristol recently attended Greta’s Climate strike. Here are some pictures – its heartening to see what a single girl started due to the power of her belief. 

Climate March Bristol

So, power to the Gates Foundation. May their fence swingers result in hitting all balls out of the park. I must also confess that I read their older annual letters for the first time – and actually, they haven’t been saying anything startlingly different – its a narrative thats been ongoing in different forms but is therefore at least consistent.

I have to end with a photo of my husband with Bono. This was at the Global Fund conference last year, where Bill Gates also participated obviously. He says it was a selfie taking opportunity choice between Gates and Bono – he chose the latter much to my daughters’ delight, and my despair. (To be fair, his logic was that I can meet Gates again but Bono maybe never)