Mindfulness – yes or no?

Hirana …samajh boojh ban charana …

Have you heard this song by classical maestro Pandit Kumar Gandharva? I heard it….no, LISTENED to it properly for the first time today – mindfully, thinking of the lyrics – and the mind was blown. It’s a song I’ve heard many many times before – and I really love it. But, the lyrics are something else altogether.

See, this is my perennial problem with music – I don’t listen to the lyrics, it’s only the melody and the composition that stays with me. And even in the music, I’m not good with percussion – so, really, only the melody….

Most proponents of music are aghast – because the poetry, the bhaav, the “feel” is all obviously in the lyrics. I feel a bit of an interloper in the music world sometimes because of this – I feel I’m really not doing full justice to what the composer-lyricist duo want to say. As an example, in a morning music group that I’m a part of, where everyone is singing/ thinking of/ analysing and applying the words (the group sings songs on spirituality and duality and oneness and nirgunta etc), and everyone is getting moved by the spirit of the songs – I am blithefully oblivious to that – I just trip on the music ( thus for sure depriving myself of the entire experience).

I first heard ….no, LISTENED to the word mindfulness some 12 years ago when my very fit friend said one must eat mindfully – those were the days I was inhaling chola bhatura and mutton biryani as often as I could! Was fairly gobsmacked at the concept and ofcourse immediately rejected it as irrelevant to me (resulting in a 10 kg weight gain in subsequent years – over an already bloated figure!).

But, I find myself reevaluating this concept often now. As an example, the listening to music for me (something that is as essential as breathing almost) is not mindful – hence I suspect the non-attention to the lyrics, and also the inhibited ability to remember songs fully (I actually have a fairly imitative musical ability honed by early training years) but don’t necessarily remember how a song goes beyond some vague tune – simply because I don’t interact with music mindfully.

Actually on the concept of breathing and mindfulness, that is what say pranayama is helping you do – breathe mindfully. Also, shavasana is MINDFULLY telling yourself to relax and become mindless – ooh soo cool! OK, note to self – anulom vilom everyday, Josh!

I try and swim often (that’s the only form of exercise I permit myself to do) – and, ofcourse, in the spirit of gamification (read my past blog) – need to count the laps, and then better them everyday – just creating kutti mental incentives – but then if I’m not swimming mindfully I forget the counting – and probably mess it up.  In the big picture, no sweat but still annoying. Having said that, should swimming be mindful? Maybe that’s what one should aim for – mindless swimming, thus enabling the mind be free to wander around – btw, my swimming time is when my blog ideas come to me – maybe that’s good? So, then, question – is mindfulness good all the time? On the other hand, does it then interfere with multitasking? (read another previous blog)

The time when it DEFINITELY should be applied is while driving – I HATE drivers who hog the middle of the lane – most often trucks or scooters, thereby not allowing small cars like mine to pass by on either side – if only you would, mindfully, enable win-win, wouldn’t it be easier for all. But then, is this behaviour actually willful do you think? In our overpopulated and fiercely competitive country, maybe the only way to stay on top is to make sure the other person is worse than you? Not for you to be better than the other one? What do you think?

Mindful, though, is how I describe my young nephew (much to my kids’ resentment). Scenario – a big family function – think big fat Indian wedding, only substitute a boy’s thread ceremony for wedding. Some 40 house guests for a 4 day function – all organized in a normal Mumbai flat. Obviously there was lots of work, which in true Indian middle class fashion, was being done by all. But, one name stood out in terms of overall omniscience, reliability and just dogged hard work. And that was my nephew Rohan – like I told my cousin his dad later, all our kids are respectful and helpful teenagers – but Rohan is mindful – so, he is actually prescient – he sees that one grand aunt with varicose veins needs a footstool to extend leg, and gets it; realizes when dinner is over that the next step is going to be mattresses rolled out for bedtime and starts on that job; keeps an eye on the panditji performing the rites so he knows when milk is needed, when a matchbox is empty and when the prasad is being called for. All this, because he is mindful.

No shade, but obviously the biggest deterrent to mindfulness is the mobile phone – that’s where the other teenagers were busy, and hence not able to contribute unless specifically asked to do so. This actually is not just restricted to teens, my friend broke a bone in her toe because she was on her screen while walking and tripped on a stone (not mindful walking)…

Talking of teens, just finished reading a teen fantasy fiction series – the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger – in that, kids trigger abilities – by mindfully concentrating on what they need to do….(you should read teen fantasy fic, guys, so addictive)

So, what do you think? What are your examples of being mindful within the corporate scenario and what is the impact? #foodforthought?

Coming to Hirana – there is an inherent note to mindfulness within the lyrics themselves – the caution to the deer of being mindful while grazing – just to avoid the evil hunters. Enjoy…..

On 18 hour work days and Quiet Quitting

I get Shantanu Deshpande. I really do – maybe its generational, maybe its just a type; but I have more than a sneaking fellow feeling for him. So does the husband. And so do/ did Roger Federer, Steve Jobs, Indira Gandhi and Amitabh Bachchan.

I mean, I now lead a life which I worry is a very bad example to my kids in how checked out it is – I walk 15k steps a day while taking dog for ambulatory walks; read (and re read) old comfortable books (like Blytons and Potters and Heyers) while generating HUGE tsundoku; attend music groups; avidly follow cooking trends (on that topic – butter boards: yes or no?); clock 8 hours plus on average on several devices; and drink copious amounts of beer on weekends. Thankfully, the husband’s lifestyle is the exact opposite – his day begins at like 5 am-ish, and ends at 1 am-ish – with maybe an hour and a half for other stuff like eating; walking dog. The rest – he is working. (Except for the drinking on weekends). I’m hoping the kids learn from the dad even if they aspire to the mom.

But, this lifestyle of mine came AFTER years of backbreaking slogging – of, in fact, much more than 18 hour workdays – and that, irrespective of whether I worked in a privately held Indian business, a Multinational Corporation, or of course my own venture. I think I’ve recorded this somewhere earlier: when we were running our start-up; given it was in the early days of digital media – so, a very new domain, and completely new roles at entrepreneurship for us partners, also new geographies that were not co- located, we needed to have really long hours, and often, undefined work scope. It was NOT easy – but, as I told some teams who were complaining about the long work hours – ‘nothing you can say about unreasonable hours will astonish me, as I’ve done all this and more’….

So I now feel reasonably guiltless about my life of leisure – I think it is well earned – I’ve paid my dues and am now reaping the reward – the reward is compounded by the fact that I don’t really have a hugely expensive lifestyle and am very happy to just smell the roses as it were.

I think our generation (and definitely those before us) had this very strict effort and reward code – you work hard, you get your reward (in money/ in time/ in success whatever). It was generally acknowledged and proven that you didn’t get good marks unless you slogged, and that meant you didn’t get admissions into good colleges, and that meant you didn’t get good jobs, and that meant you didn’t make good money and that meant you didn’t have a good lifestyle. It was fairly direct correlation, and fairly organic growth.

Also, it was a waterfall sequence related to life cycle stages – work at one phase/ family at the next/ retirement and attendant benefits at the next. And, at the overlapping stages, it entailed constant juggling.

But, I think times have changed drastically (at least in urban middle class cohorts). Maybe it’s the culture of instant gratification, (no waiting in line at STD booth for calls/ hungry at 2 am? just order swiggy/ spent too much this semester? a click and mom wires money…). Maybe it’s the wave of cool start ups – with so many unicorns around that enable exponential payoffs and reward, the newer generations want a non correlated effort-reward equation. As I see it, the newer younger workforce is not willing to submit one’s life at the altar of their jobs.

Hence the uproar on Shantanu Deshpande’s edict (and his subsequent resignation). Hence quiet quitting. Hence the workation trend. Hence the shortening median tenure at a single job (down from 36 odd months to 18 now).

The good part about this – the fact that this generation wants ownership of their time. They feel they are multi dimensional, they want to explore different parts of themselves, and they do not necessarily feel that money is equal to success.

They probably also feel that hard is not equal to smart – which is valid – one doesn’t necessarily want everyone slogging at stuff that could be done quicker/ better – technology now works tirelessly at enabling that very thing. 

The problem with this however is when this desire translates to a work ethic that makes the job just the job, when the commitment/ the drive for excellence/ the passion is not only lacking, it is considered not a good thing. Because, lets face it – there ARE times when you need the 18 hour work day – it’s not ideal, but it’s unavoidable. Because, unicorns and stock options notwithstanding, earning money is not easy – it takes long, unremitting hours very often. And, one has to strike a balance between ensuring good physical and mental health, and giving one’s all to what you are doing.

So, one has to wonder – it’s great that the current generation is making things easier for itself and that hedonism is a quasi virtue, and definitely that folks are prioritising health over everything. But, in the process, are we creating a less hardy/ more entitled generation? When chips are down, will this generation be able to cope? Or am I just too old and cynical? Food for Thought.

Mind your language/ Keeping Up with the Zoomers

Playlist my DD made to introduce me to music she thinks I will like

So apparently one stagnates in music listening at about 33 years of age  – ie, you don’t really broaden your musical horizons once you hit your 30s. I think this is largely true for me – with any additions to my 60s/ 70s music playlist being because of a live concert I attended, or something I learned in a class or for a performance (hence very experiential), or something my kids made me listen to (that poor Avicii was one of those – so also are Mumford and Sons and Arctic Monkeys and Brendon Urie).

Sometimes my friend Rupa, who has two very trendy young adults at home, sends me recos – Prateek Kuhad was one such name (which I learned later put me in the august company of Barack Obama).  

Having said that, when you see a name cropping up in all your kids’ friends’ Instagram pages again and again (yes, I’m stalker mom!), and then see that same name walk away with five Grammies, you know its time to listen to that artist. Hence, on a lazy summer day, I try and search for Billie Eilish (“unapologetically dark, weird, and angsty, Billie Eilish is the anti-pop-star her generation deserves”). DD happens to be looking over my shoulder as I do that, and she says – “ok, listen to “Bad Guy””. And then follows it up with this astounding remark – “Ma, did you know that this video got the most viewed comment on youtube” Huh? What? Say again? This sentence is sooooo weird on so many different levels!  A) A comment on youtube gets viewed? Why??? b) It gets viewed (now) 2.9 million times!!!!!!! woah. What’s WRONG with people? C) The comment is – “I’m the bald guy” by Seth Everman – huh???? Duh? Srsly????? D) Why does the whole world know about this???

I BET I’m the only person of my generation who knows this (I tested this hypothesis, and it was true)….

I thought this, combined with the strange times we live in, is a good time to do a follow up on my old post of new words in the dictionary. Many of these are just Gen Z slang that is interesting/ baffling – I have been stuck with one GenZ-er at home during lockdown so have had many educational episodes about this. Some are words that current affairs have given rise to – may even be in existence for a while, but either weren’t topical earlier, or I hadn’t registered them. I should add, they are mostly words or phrases that I have come across recently in my reading, that I have had to google or ask DDs for the meaning of. In some cases, it is words I have known and used, but only recently discovered the interesting origin of.

As I listed them, they kind of naturally fell into a few clusters:

Phrases where meanings can be kind of derived (or at least understood because they are similar to earlier slang)

Lit – When something is amazing, “popping”, high-energy, or otherwise great. It could also be used to mean intoxicated or drunk (boomer equivalent was loaded I guess in that context)

Fam/ Squad – Used to describe those you consider close friends. DD texts on this group of family friends – “Hey fam, see I made lit chicken”.

Fire – Something that is cool (oh well, or hot) and amazing.  “The chicken was fire.” The boomer slang equivalent of “fire” is “groovy” – though groovy normally implied music. “That album is groovy.”

Goals – A term used to describe what someone wants in their life (I’ve seen it most often in comments on Insta – “Couple goals, squad goals”, or just “Goals”). 

Mood – Used as “same here”/ relatable/ summing up one’s life. Example: “That old man is such a mood.”, or just “mood”! (GenZ is certainly economical with words)

Hangry – Hungry + angry (anger usually a result of the hunger) – every mum knows this one, it just took Gen Z to coin a word for it. I would have also used Slangry (sleepy + angry). (Umm, apparently ”Horngry” is another popular term)

Gucci – Comes from the high-end fashion brand. Another way to say “good,” “chill,” or “awesome.” For example: “Is that fine with you?” “Yeah brother, it’s Gucci.” Incidentally, brother does not mean male sibling – it is just a form of address

Flex – Knowingly flaunt and show off, or, the thing being shown off . “That car’s a flex.” 

No cap – Seriously. “I could really do with a burger right now no cap.”

Netflix party – A virtual hangout zone where folks watch the same shows or movies together (I was lulled into thinking one could watch each other like VR or something – much to my disappointment, my daughter watched the same show many miles across a sea, while we watched it at home. The only difference, one could text each other at appropriate moments to say – oooh this scene is so lit! 

Hipster Babu

Hipster – While the word can be traced back to the 1930s, with the “hip” person being the one who knew all about, say, jazz; interestingly, for the Gen Z, all millenials are hipsters. Every generation needs a derisive label for their trendy young people – the peace-loving boomers in the 1960s were hippies (some scholars speculate that “hipster” became “hippie,” before then coming back again). But this one is a reverse trend – Millennials in the 2010s became vintage flannel and skinny jean-wearing/ retro-tech loving hipsters. My older daughter, when she had her very annoying “messy bun” hairdo, was called “hipster babu” by my younger daughter and her friends.

 

Smol – Extremely small and cute; or, extremely large and cute in an ironic way. Basically, just cute. I always thought this was a bad spelling thing when I saw it on the kids’ posts – but no, its genuine!

Doggo/Pupper – Yes, dog – every gen must say ordinary things differently I guess.

Henlo – A dog’s way of saying “hello”.  

Queen/Kween – You use this phrase to hype your friends or yourself.  “YAAAS QUEEN”

Adulting – its the millenials/ Gen Z doing adult things such as paying bills, getting insurance, getting a job etc. (my older one and her friends constantly bewail adulting. Specially when cooking/ doing laundry)

Finsta – Short for “fake Instagram.” A second Instagram account that someone has, typically used for memes, inside jokes, etc., only for the eyes of close friends. ALL the kids I pride myself on being friends with on Insta, have finstas – and NONE OF THEM accepts my invites for those accounts 😦

Basic – Refers to someone who is unoriginal and only follows mainstream trends. One has to say this as “ya’ basic” apparently – a famous moment of the Gen Z fave show the Good Place. 

Can’t even – An expression that denotes various emotional responses when a person can’t comprehend what was said or what’s happening. “Ms. X. is going on and on in English. Zahaan is snoring. Im dying, I can’t even!”

Boujee – Someone who enjoys the lavish and extravagant things in life. One assumes this is derived from Bourgeois/ Bourgeoisie (with similar insulting overtones) – but with nuances of middle class vs. lavish

 Flashpacking – Backpacking with a slightly larger budget. Sometimes, also known as “champagne backpacking.”

Mankini – A brief one-piece bathing garment for men, with a T-back. Interestingly, in my old list, I had featured Burquini.

Muffin Top : A roll of fat visible above the top of a pair of women’s tight-fitting low-waisted trousers. (That’s me, even in high waisted not tight fitting trousers)

Grocerant – Any store selling a retail food item that is ready-to-eat or ready-to-heat. 

Voluntold – The exact opposite of volunteering. Always used in reference to an unpleasant task to which you have been assigned by your boss. “Her mother voluntold her for the job”

And last, but not the least: 

Clap Those Cheeks – A euphemism for sex

 

Strange Gen Z phrases that I have learnt from DDs/ their friends and my family now uses as common lingo – albeit wrongly very often

No U – A deflection, NO U is a sarcastic way of pointing out that the Original Poster’s [OP] comments apply more to himself and not to the one he/she/they are trolling. Sometimes is also used kindly – as in Insta, a pretty picture has – “hawwwttttieee”, and then the OP says “No U”.

OK Boomer : Generation Z’s dismissive response to suggestions from anybody older. A suitable riposte nowadays for Gen Z could be, Ok Zoomer – which is, however, very “cringe”. 

Slaps – Positive term for anything cool, but most frequently used to describe a good song: “That song really slaps.”

Stan – A “stalker fan.” You’re not just a fan; you’re a huge fan on the verge of stalking (but not in a creepy way!). As our friend Gaurav, who loves geeky facts, gleefully told my DD at the end of a Gen Z slang education session, it originated from an Eminem song of the same name. It is however, used more, for some odd reason, with a plural first person pronoun. So, “we stan Sangita auntie”!

Tea – The scoop or gossip. “Spill the tea.” “Tea” is also used when one is agreeing with a point someone has just said. “Last night was a mess. “Tea.” The boomer slang equivalent of “tea” is “the skinny.” 

Thicc – Pleasantly plump; curvy in the right places (especially the butt or thighs). This is my favourite Gen Z word – just because a) it applies to me, and b) its so delightful! 

VSCO Girl – A really “basic” white girl who usually has a hydro flask and a metal straw; uses terms like “sksksks”; wears shell necklaces, scrunchies, oversized t-shirts, short shorts, and Birkenstocks; and talks a lot about saving the turtles. They’re named after a picture editing app called VSCO (pronounced visco).

Salty – To be “salty” is to be annoyed, upset, or bitter, usually about something minor. The boomer slang equivalent of “salty” is “ticked off.”

Bop/Banger – If a song is really good or enjoyable, it’s a “bop” or a “banger”. The usage is contentious in my household – my VERY boomer husband (even by my standards) has been trying to get this right – with various attempts of – “A, this is a bopping song”, evoking gales of mirth from A

Cancelled – If someone does something the internet deems “problematic”, they are “cancelled”. When Divit was bullying my nephew Ben, the girls said, “Divit is cancelled”. “Trump needs to get cancelled already.” However, Cancel culture = Boycotting/ Removing something or someone out of your life, usually following a controversial or offensive statement. This can get quite toxic as you can imagine

Yeet = Throw Out. Used beautifully by a young friend while teaching History to DD.

Yeet – coming originally from basketball, it meant an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, or all-around energy. But now it has morphed to also meaning – “throwing out”.

 

 

 

Abbreviations. Yes, more of! We did say this is the age of economy – “soz” has become a family catchphrase.

Hmu – An acronym for “hit me up” which could refer to hanging out, texting, or talking on the phone.

Fr – Short for for real. Example: “I mean it, fr.”

Tfw – Short for that feel(ing) when. “Tfw you’re ready for lockdown to end but the Corona stat reaches half a million”

W = Short for “win”. “Today I got out of bed at noon and that’s a W for me.”

ITL – “Invited to leave”; that is, firing someone.

UTTR – “Up and to the right”, like a graph of a trend of growth pre Corona

GAFA – Google Amazon Facebook apple

Af = Short for as f**k. Means “extremely”. “I’m tired af.” This one, given the context, I couldn’t even guess at (I kept thinking – after the fact???) – so I asked DD – and she was like, ma, I’m not going to say it!

Idgaf – yes you got it – I don’t give a f@$k. (Also a song by Dua Lipa)

TERFs – Coined in 2008 by Viv Smythe, ‘terf’ is an acronym for trans-exclusionary radical feminist. Implies those who reject that trans women are women, assert the exclusion of trans women from women’s spaces and are opposed to transgender rights legislation. In the spotlight recently due to Rowling’s recent transphobic tweet, ‘Terf’ became the most searched query on Google

 

Technology led phrases

Pwned – Having origins in video game culture, “pwned” is used to imply that someone has been controlled or compromised (kind of like owned – o and p are next to each other on the keypad). “Have I Been Pwned” is a website that allows Internet users to check whether their personal data has been hacked into.

Ambient computing –  Ambient computing refers to technologies that allow people to use a computer without realizing they’re doing it – its a combination of hardware, software, user experience and machine/human interaction and learning – a variety of technologies, including motion tracking, speech recognition, gestures, wearables, and artificial intelligence to achieve this goal. 

“Vision” from the Avengers Series – Super Intelligence done well 

Super intelligence –  An intellect that is much smarter than the best human brains in practically every field, including scientific creativity, general wisdom and social skills. It could be a digital computer, an ensemble of networked computers or cultured cortical tissue. Elon Musk fears it – says could be a immortal dictator/ more dangerous than nuclear warheads. Bill Gates endorses this view.

Slide Into Their DMs – A phrase used to signify that one wants to send a flirtatious message over social media.

@ me next time – This term originated on Twitter, where you could “subtweet” someone, that is, talk about them indirectly. Telling someone to “@” you is telling them to stop being shady and talk to you directly 

Derp – Used as a substitute for speech regarded as meaningless or stupid, or to comment on a foolish or stupid action. Derp is often used for a character or an act (derping) not crucial to the story-telling, primarily in rage comics. Derp comes with facial expressions and has a female counterpart named Derpina.

Noob – A person who is inexperienced in a particular sphere or activity, especially computing. The word came from “newbie”. It almost became the millionth word of the English language in 2009, a title that went to “Web 2.0” instead.

Vanity Metrics – Vanity metrics are an outdated form of measurement on social media like the followers on your account or the number of likes on a post. 

Micro-moments – The moment that people turn to a device to get immediate information that will help them to make a decision, resolve a problem, buy something or go somewhere. 

Seenzone/ Ghosting – Seeing a message but not replying ; if done frequently, normally is a precursor of ghosting – which I ending communication without warning

 

Topical Phrases 

Snowflake Generation – The young adults of the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient, living in a cocoon of righteousness, and more prone to taking offence (hypersensitive)  than previous generations. It came from GenX parents calling their children unique (or snowflakes). Now a favoured phrase of some tabloids for expressing generic disdain for young people who are behaving differently from people older than them (young people are having less sex, or drinking less alcohol, or having less fun.) 

Fatberg – A very large mass of solid waste in a sewerage system, consisting especially of congealed fat and personal hygiene products that have been flushed down toilets.

Outrospection – (coined by Roman Krznaric) A method in which you get to know oneself by stepping outside of yourself, developing relationships and empathetic thinking with others. 

Poverty Porn – also known as development porn, famine porn, or stereotype porn, has been defined as “any type of media, be it written, photographed or filmed, which exploits the poor’s condition in order to generate the necessary sympathy for selling newspapers, increasing charitable donations, or support for a given cause”. Ed Sheeran was unwittingly guilty of poverty porn in his 2017 plea for the poor for Comic Relief, as hero-Ed narrates his sorrow while the camera zooms on nameless children sleeping rough on a beach. 

Weasel Words – Words and phrases aimed at creating an impression that something specific and meaningful has been said, when in fact only a vague or ambiguous claim has been communicated.

Some new words in Oxfordenglish dictionary:

Mentionitis – A tendency towards repeatedly or habitually mentioning something, esp. the name of a person one is attracted to or infatuated with, regardless of its relevance to the topic of conversation.

Freegan – A person who believes it is wrong to throw away food when millions of people around the world are hungry. They only eat food they can get for free, which would usually have been thrown out or waste. Often freegans rely on food found in supermarket dumpsters.

Microaggressions – A term used for brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioural, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalized groups – “for a black person, you are beautiful”. Long ago, a colleague told me, meaning this as a compliment, “you work like a man”.

Gaslighting – Undermine someone by psychological means such that they doubt their own sanity. Oxford Dictionaries named it one of the most popular words of 2018: The phrase originated from a 1938 mystery thriller written by British playwright Patrick Hamilton called Gas Light, made into a popular movie in 1944 starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In the film, husband Gregory manipulates his adoring, trusting wife Paula into believing she can no longer trust her own perceptions of reality. In one pivotal scene, Gregory causes the gaslights in the house to flicker by turning them on in the attic of the house. Yet when Paula asks why the gaslights are flickering, he insists that it’s not really happening and that it’s all in her mind, causing her to doubt her self-perception. Hence the term “gaslighting” was born.

My daughter recently accused me of gaslighting her about her singing – it was not pretty. Trump’s rhetoric , specially about immigration, and the pandemic, has all been gaslighting.

Virtue Signalling – The sharing of one’s point of view on a social or political issue, often on social media, in order to garner praise or acknowledgment of one’s righteousness from others who share that point of view, or to passively rebuke those who do not. In an era where keeping silent is probably as much a crime as expressing your opinion on, say, social media, what demarcates virtue signalling and passionate expression of solidarity?

Red pilling – Becoming enlightened to the truth about reality, especially a truth that is difficult to accept or exposes disillusions. Red pill is especially used among anti-feminist and white supremacist groups to refer to “waking up” to the truth that women and liberal politics are oppressing men and white people. Elon Musk recently tweeted “take the red pill” – arguably indicating a greater rightward shift in his political views. 

Colorism – Specially relevant now given HUL’s dropping the word “fair” from its iconic product, colorism is a bit different from racism in that it can refer to prejudge based on shades of colour even amongst the same race  – “wanted tall fair educated girl for marriage”

Bi-erasure – Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality.

I must confess a recent blooper of mine in context – not quite having internalised the gender spectrum (with ABC News having found 58 gender option in Facebook’s new move) , I was confused between bisexual and pansexual. Took the DD to explain.

Lumbersexual – A “not-so-manly” man dressing like a lumberjack (although a lot more refined) and sporting a beard that has the volume of a lumberjacks beard and the groom of a hipster, cashing in on the “rugged, outdoor stereotype”. Interestingly enough, my earlier list had gastrosexual.

Holacracy – A system of corporate governance whereby members of a team or business form distinct, autonomous, yet symbiotic, teams to accomplish tasks and company goals. Corporate hierarchy is discarded in favor of a flat organizational structure where all workers have an equal voice while simultaneously answering to the direction of shared authority. Zappos.com, with 1,500 employees, is the largest company to adopt Holacracy

 

Coronavirus Lexicon.

In this context, the very word pandemic was for me not such a frequently used/ heard one. So also, social distancing, when I first heard it, I thought was witty. Now ofcourse, it’s our way of life. Coronapocalyse/ Coronageddon are kind of obvious. Index Patient and Super Spreader also became common usage. The few new words I found interesting/ funny were:

Infodemic – an excessive amount of information about a problem, which is sometimes incorrect and can have a negative effect on finding a solution

Doom scrolling – constantly refreshing our feeds for the latest news about the pandemic

Miss Rona  – Gen Z call the virus itself “Miss Rona” or simply, “The Rona.” IN a bit of gallows humour, it was also more callously called the “Boomer Remover.” Now of course the virus seems less ageist.

Wfh = wifi hell = wear fear heroically

Pancession – a pandemic-associated widespread economic recession

Coronaverse – The now prevailing socio-economic order

Coronanoia – paranoia induced by conditions obtaining in the pandemic

Covidiot / moronavirus – slang insult for someone who disregards healthy and safety guidelines about the novel coronavirus.

Quarantini/ Coronarita  – The original quarantini referred to a martini-like cocktail mixed with vitamin C-based dietary supplements. Now these are cocktails made at home with available ingredients

Isobar – a home bar stocked, displayed and/or depleted in confinement

Zoombombing – amid security concerns for zoom, it is basically hacking into. Zoom conference

Zumping – A blend of dump and Zoom, zumping is when you break up with someone over a video conferencing service.

Fomites: inanimate objects whose surfaces can become contaminated with pathogens when touched by the carrier of an infection and can then transmit the pathogens to those who next touch the surfaces

Covexit – The strategy for exiting lockdown

Blursday – An unspecified day because of lockdown’s disorientating effect on time

Infits – outfits worn in conditions of confinement

Quaranqueens – a woman excelling during lockdown, particularly one excessively cleaning and tidying

Smizing – Smiling with the eyes, as when wearing a facemask

Elbump – an elbow contact in place of handshaking or other physical greeting

Coronadodge – swerving to avoid passers-by to comply with distance restrictions

 

Plain Confusing Phrases (that common sense would tell you should mean something else)

OTP – Not the annoying One Time Password, this one stands for “One True Pairing;” , or, your favourite “ship” (Some 5 years ago, I was the “kween” of an old friends’ reunion, when I explain “ship” to them – Virushka/ Brangelina being the ones they could relate to).

Instagram baddie – A woman who always look flawless. 

Let’s Get This Bread! – A pep talk expression similar to “Let’s do this! We got this, guys!” 

Sksksksksksksks – the new Gen Z sign of laughter, replacing “hahahaha.” (similar to a fam squad we once had, which due to the initials, was unimaginatively named sknsrkms)

Snacc – An attractive person; someone that looks so good that you want to eat them for a snack.  

Fit – Shortened version of outfit. “She had on a fire fit at the party.” The boomer slang equivalent of “fit” is “threads.” 

Wig – Something amazing – so shock inciting that one’s wig flies off! (maybe that’s why the “I’m bald guy comment” got viewed so often) The very colourless boomer slang equivalent of “wig” maybe, is “fab”? 

Creps – Not something you eat, it’s Sneakers.

Dank – Not dark, but of high quality. For example: “Did you see those dank memes I sent you?”

Dzaddy – an attractive man. (“Did you see how good he looks today?” “Yeah, what a dzaddy!” ) Electra complex, much?

G – A term of endearment you’d use with a friend or acquaintance. “What’s up my G?” Short for “gangster” or “gangsta”. Huh??? Really?

Hard – When something is really cool. “Have you seen his new shoes?” “Yeah those are hard!” Same as Lit or Fire, but less comprehensible in usage

E-boy/-girl – Gen Z’s hybrid version of emo/goth. A style that includes wearing a lot of black, neon and chains, drawing small black hearts drawn under their eyes, using a lot of blush, and having bangs. Millennials usually think the “e” stands for emo, but it actually stands for “electronic”.

As I was finishing up this list, I chanced upon the New words in Oxford English dictionary. Some that I did not know of (and could never have figured out) are:

Bagel – To beat (an opponent) by a score of six games to love in a set. 

Chop-chop – Bribery and corruption in public life; misappropriation or embezzlement of funds. 

Franger – A condom

Noonie – The female genitals; the vulva or vagina (mainly Brit usage)

Jam – Among homosexual people, designating a heterosexual person 

Tokunbo – Denoting an imported second-hand product, esp. a car

My UFO – a memory blanket

UFO – In knitting, sewing, quilting, etc,  an unfinished piece of work; a project left uncompleted.

 

 

 

 

 

As I end this long list, I thought of who would appreciate this post – and I realised that it probably will be folks of my generation really. I found this news item about a teacher who compiled a list of Gen z slang very relatable.  – teaching done right

Ofcourse, Gen Z is not the only gen with slangs – in the spirit of weasel words, Boomers probably invented meaningless corporate speak. Infact my DD gets her own back on bopping/ bantering dad when she gets him with #thematic #skininthegame. 

As Eilish would say, “Don’t say thank you or please; I do what I want when I’m wanting to”

The Circle of Life – Some insights from a Hospital Stay

So, Ija, my 89 year old mother in law had a stroke (right cerebral infarct with left cerebral bleed) last week. After 10 days spent at the hospital, we brought her home yesterday – she has been lying unresponsive in bed since last Monday morning. Obviously, this was a period of worry and frustration for us, but also of observation and reflection. A few thoughts emerged:

A) Old Was Truly Gold – It’s a truism, but the age old mantras of Clean air, Organic food and Simple living really worked. This is preaching to the converted largely, but the fact remains that urban upper middle class living nowadays is the pits. My in laws lived in a small hilly border town called Pithoragarh most of their lives. Like most hill folk of that time, they ate simple, locally grown vegetarian food supplemented with lots of dairy twice a day; woke up at 4 am and slept at 8pm, walked everywhere; didn’t overwork and didn’t party. Result – ija at nearly 90 was walking, talking, eating, bathing independently till Sunday evening – she held sway over,  in fact terrorised a household comprised of sons, daughters in law, grandchildren, household help and guests. Even now, when she has been bedridden for nearly two weeks, her vitals are strong and working perfectly fine. This, despite having had two strokes some 15 years ago, losing speech as a result, and then recovering from it to regale us with many tales of her brain haemorrhage and other illnesses.

B) It REALLY is all about the people – A Hospital, just like, but even more than other service oriented institutions like schools and banks, is run by the people – it is not just the doctors, who of course are very important, but the rest of the staff. Nurses (and that entire eco system) are probably even more important than doctors. So are the ward staff, the cleaning staff, the security, the ambulance staff, the food deliverers, the Physio therapists, the admin, the cash and billing staff, the counsellors, the dieticians – the entire jing bang. Ramaiah Memorial Hospital was an example of an institution where we met excellence all around. Every single interaction with the staff, from the security guard outside the ICU, who went out of his way to check status of arrival of stretcher for MRI, and gave us numbers of key people to call; to the physiotherapist girls who not only exercised ija’s stiff neck and limbs, but also took care to give me, my sister in law and the new caregiver girl we hired, clear, lucid and reasonable instructions for her care post hospital; to the catering guy who made sure and delivered food we wanted as and when we wanted; to ambulance folks who called several numbers to ensure they were ready and waiting when ija was ready to be taken home – these micro “moments of truth” were what led to delight in customer interaction. Infact, on a previous visit to the same hospital with ija, the guard outside the dental hospital had been extremely helpful – when my husband offered him a tip, he flat refused – saying this is my duty sir. This is unprecedented in India, where most things do not work without a bribe or a bakhshish! All of this brings home the importance of training and investing in the second and third in commands in an organisation. That is the only way to make sure a system is sustainable. Leadership is very important, but so is the workforce. For example, in Ivy League colleges, the undergrad classes are really taught by TAs – but that is possible only because they admit the best/ the cream of the students. Similarly, MS Ramaiah has integrated its supply chain backwards – they have nursing training college, also medical college – so their hiring pipeline is always full (a lesson many schools and other organisations can learn).  

C) But Process is King – The thing is, people with the best intention in the world, cannot make a scale institution work unless there are rock solid processes – that is the reason why large multinational corporates funded economies like India, which then entered new phases of development because of their process expertise. Ramaiah has not only the people to make even a hospital stay almost pleasurable (and certainly reassuring), its processes are also world class. They have a clear role definitions with accountability, but also supervisors with different spans of control for  every job. This includes the staff who cleans and dusts every room – the cleaning supervisor actually slid open the windows to ija’s palliative care room, swept a finger on the sill in classical housewife style, and showed the smear of dust on his glove with this “a-ha” glint on his eyes to the hapless dusting guy. (Ija would have been proud)! The ambulance folks (driver/ stretcher bears) – had a supervisor too, who apparently makes sure that every ambulance experience is seamless – according to him, they fire from 10 -15 staff every day on grounds of incompetence. Of course, they also pay top salary. There are floating staff that take care of redundancy – the head of the Palliative Care Unit was absent for a couple days, but she had a second in command, and then another lady who generally adds as PR dogsbody, but acted like a great customer touch point in her absence. 

D) “Sung” Heroes – The Medical profession is often reviled and sometimes blessed, but it really needs supreme appreciation – How difficult is it to tell patient after patient, and caregiver after caregiver, that there is no hope! How difficult is it to go on performing a job again and again, and saving lives, despite the odds of lives getting lost in the process. I just bought this book This is Going to Hurt, an account of a doctor, who gave it up because of sad incidents. Doctors have this incredibly hard entrance exam, then they study for many many years, and then intern for many many hard hours, and then do this very very very very hard job. They have all my respect, and long may their tribe last. Despite much evidence to the contrary, and of course many malpractices, for a good doctor, medicine needs to be more a vocation than a profession/ means of income.

Murphyisms

E) Murphy’s law is real – This insight was the result of a conversation I had with a deeply philosophical security guard outside the Palliative Care Unit. Hailing from Hyderabad, he told me he had experience of patient care at the ICU, but he had quit that department when the SARS outbreak happened. He told me triumphantly that it was now the Coronavirus that was reaching epidemic proportions, and wasn’t it a good thing he had shifted to the Palliative Care! Having explained to me the benefits of an air bed over a water bed, and the correct setting for maximum patient comfort for both, he waxed eloquent on the dollops of ghee that people of the older times would eat – that being the reason why they grew so robust. He vented about the chicken available nowadays, which were being given injections to grow from scrawny beings to 3 kg fat hens; and the mushrooms which were being manufactured in machines – and said, no wonder there are illnesses aplenty. After a longish conversation about many life and death theories, he told me that I should pray to Allah that I never be brought to the hospital in a stretcher or a wheelchair. On my saying yes, that’s what everyone hopes for, but no one has control over, he nodded sagely and said – that is correct, madam! Later, when I was going home, I met him in the elevator and asked he me – “oota aita” (have you eaten).  When I asked him if he had, he told me, “duniya ka asool hai ki jab kuch nahi chahiye tou duniya poochti hai, aur jab bhookh lagti hai, tou koi nahi poochta.” A very Murphy Law-ish statement from the mouth of a security guard. 

F) Ancillary services – A while ago, I watched an interesting movie called Tumhari Sulu – was a refreshing take on a middle class ambitious housewife who first, by an interesting spate of circumstances, tried being a sexy chatline host much to her family’s horror, and then, after a series of unfortunate incidents, began a catering service , supplying amongst others the radio channel she was working at. Similarly, a Hospital spawns a whole host of ancillary services. Medical supplies rental, nursing attendant supply, catering service….the whole Nursing Homecare industry is one that we saw closely. Essentially, in a world where people have the ability to pay, the gaps for services are so many – and still so difficult to fill. The global geriatric services market is estimated to be at about 900 billionish USD according to a report by GMI. As per Cyber Media Research’s analysis, in 2016, the home healthcare industry in India stood at $3.20 billion and is expected to grow to $6.21 billion by 2020. By 2050, the elderly population is likely to increase by three times to reach around 300 million, accounting for 20% of the country’s total population. There are many providers – Bangalore based Portea being a big professionally run one. But clearly many smaller ones are jumping in. After all, body shopping is something we do well. The Homecare service seems to see margins of 50% and upwards, relying on caregivers from Bengal, Odisha and Kerala, Karnataka – these are barely trained, needy girls (and I assume boys) on whom you leave the daily care of your loved ones.

G) Melanin’s Rule – Skin colour is really an obsession with us Indians (and of course across the world). The very very sweet well meaning nurses looking after ija would repeatedly say – “she is a white beauty”. I felt like quoting MLK back at them all the time “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character”. Its another matter that the white beauty comment would have made ija very happy – she has often told me about the skin whitening afghan snow cream she used daily for skincare. I am so so happy about the recent penalty proposed on skin colour related ads. And the fact that my daughters’ generation at least is actively rejecting these racist norms. 

H) The Flip Side of Influence – We Indians are so used to battling the odds to turn them into our favour in all circumstances, that we look for “Influence” always. So it happened to my husband and me when we first admitted Ija to the ICU. Feeling very lost, and unable to quite gauge accurately the true state of affairs because of our inexperience, we of course asked around if anyone had any “contacts” at the hospital. A bunch of folks responded. We were satisfied. But, the whole thing escalated – some one asked someone else and then someone else, and the matter reached the top folks at the hospital. In no time, we were called by the ICU staff and asked why we were unhappy with the service at the hospital, why we had complained, did we not get the counselling, etc etc. Caught completely by surprise, and embarrassed to the hilt, we spent many minutes clarifying that this was Chinese Whispers at work – and they were just the victims of well meaning helpers! Anyway, we got away with filling some feedback forms, but learnt a valuable lesson on not overusing resources at the wrong time. 

I) Self Worth vs. Humility – While sitting in Ija’s room, I was typing out a response to an urgent, important email. A young intern came in to return ija’s discharge summary paper which she had borrowed. When I asked her to place it in the file please, she said – no, I can’t do it. Im very busy. I guess I looked shocked – as she then said, we have many patients to see, and we can’t do these things. I guess she was right (my point had merely been – since you are placing it on top anyway, just open the file and place it aside) – but it reinforced an important point to me. This is about confidence in self/ or a heightened sense of one’s value – it is trait that I totally lack (I have been told several times by several diverse people the I have no ego – its not something that I am ashamed of, but neither is it something that I would necessarily teach my kids). My husband (and his brother, a senior doctor) – have it in spades. They are always about making something grand/ the big picture/ inflation/ larger than life… what have you. It stands them in good stead – my husband refuses to sign a deal with anyone unless it meats the bare threshold of valuation he has set for the company. My brother in law starts most conversations with strangers saying – do you know who I am – I was Senior Officer in so-and-so etc etc. My in laws had immense pride in being Bhatt from Bishadh, an uchcha koti brahmin; my mother has immense pride in her daughter’s accomplishments. My ex business partner smoke screened our capabilities to clients very often – saying we know/ have done much more than we actually had. Clever business? Yes, totally! Marketing? Maybe. Respect Generation guarantor? Sometimes. Good, bad, or ugly? Can’t really say. This also amplifies real or imagined slights (how did I not get a large room/ how dare the CEO not come and meet me)…but for sure, it is better than to be on the flip side of the coin. The number of conversations I have had with my daughter who is in college far away, in the wee hours of the night, to allay fears of – I have no friends/ I am not likeable/ I am dumb, is not funny. Just messes with her head, and ensures that the therapy/ mental health medicine industry is thriving. I am guessing a good state of being is confidence in self based on actual traits, behaviours and achievements; yet enough humility to acknowledge other people’s traits, behaviours and achievements. Tough balance!

J) Minimalism and Focus – This is the era of decluttering – many a preacher is giving gyan on mindfulness, on simplicity, on getting down to the basics. Celebrities are getting huge views and followerships on recycled clothing. Home schooling a big thing. Single home ownership/ single car ownership/ sharing rooms is being taught as a big lessons. No air travel/ dry shopping free months/ vintage shops are trending globally. My husband’s firm Social Alpha incubates a company called Bare necessities, which works on zero waste processes. All this, apart from urban brouhaha, is really good for the environment and just generally plain old common sense. But, somehow, the real value of paring down one’s life to the bare necessities comes when you have a loved one in hospital – all needs become wants – and all wants become don’t wants. You realise the bs about relationships is not bs. You rue the phone call you didn’t make, or the fight you did have, with parents and other friends and family. You say – God, I’ll feed a 100 children; or I’ll give up Rajnigandha, if you make my m-i-l well again. All external trappings evaporate in the face of adversity – my friend who lost her husband very young says this well – one life to live – may as well be true to what you really really want to do and what is important to you. 

K) New Normal – As we now slowly get used to a bed ridden mum, we have to adjust to our new normal. At each stage, one has changes, and one adjusts. When ija first came to live with us, we made minor modifications in life style – gave up eating meat; our evening outings together as a family stopped… When my daughter went to college, a room became vacant, uninterrupted sleep became a thing of the past and the voice data usage shot through the skies. So did stress and heart medication. Now when ija is semi comatose, we have a new full time member of our household (her attendant), her room smells like a hospital, bed sores and secretion cleaning have become frequent search terms, and the mixie is being overused. This, after all, is life! As I was telling a friend who lost her dad recently, and then is nursing her mother through a stroke (thankfully mashi is recovering) while we were grieving about the loss of another friend’s mother suddenly just as she was rehabilitating her father in law, we are now at that stage of life. In our late teens, we were all only about college admissions and exams, in our twenties we were all job hunting and then partying; then it was promotions/ marriage/ home ownership/ parenthood/ their schooling/ empty nesting – and now ofcourse as our parents are all becoming geriatrics, we are seeing their illness and, eventually their end. This is, truly, the circle of life

Reflections from a TEDx talk – to start off the new year 2020

Like most “people like me” (self confessed wannabe intellectual/ corporate types), I have been viewing/ listening to Ted talks for a while – I even subscribe to them on my social media accounts. I love them for the sheer diversity of thought they portray, and obviously find some that invoke “aha” moments, and some that I couldn’t care less about. Went to my first live session though the other day – was not a TED talk, but a TEDx event, held in a school. I have to say at the outset that it was a fun evening – organised really well by the students. As expected, listened to some engaging perspectives by a diverse speaker set; met some interesting people in the interactive sessions; ate some really good food; and went through some entertaining performances by the kids. This piece is about reflections during and post the event; thought would type them down jfk 🙂

– BIG Hairy Audacious Goals – One of the speakers at the event, in terms of sheer coolness of “achievement” (at least by the mainstream sense of success and achievement), was easily in the top order – has had two really successful startups – one in the enterprise space of mobile marketing, and another (newer one) in the urban micro mobility apace – and while his ventures may not be Mark Zuckerberg big; they are both still household names. His talk was the one I was most looking forward to; both for myself, and for my musical-theatre – crazy – yet – wrestling – with – middle-class – parental – ambition – to – do – more – mainstream – stuff – teenage daughter, specially as, part of my objective of attending this event was to expose child to a divergent way of thinking, rather than just Broadway and the Westend. Now to me, the big nugget in this talk was his point of choosing a “BIG problem to solve”. He spoke about his quest for an entrepreneurial opportunity post his first one (this, by the way, after having sworn to “chill with coffee at 40” – much like my intention to lie on a beach and drink beer! The difference is, I actually do my beach and beer, and he went ahead and started the new micro mobility enterprise ). The problem statement to him was that of urban traffic congestion, (very relevant in a city like Bangalore), and air pollution; and he chose a really innovative solution, despite what one would say were insurmountable odds. (The solution was hireable cycles and electric scooters).

Now obviously, this nugget of choosing the Big Problem was directed more at the students in the audience in order to inspire them, but it also made me a bit ashamed. I think there are people in this world who really take big problems to solve – and they are the ones who move and shake the world, and make life easier for the rest of us. These are not necessarily “great men” – it could be the boy or girl next door (this entrepreneur is an ex neighbour, and a really nice guy). I realise that I am not one of them, instead choosing to focus on making my immediate eco system happy and comfortable. Look after ageing parents and in laws, undertake some community service in neighbourhood schools and slums, mentor some startups that come looking for gyan, manage kids’ complicated calendars…these are the low impact low scale items that keep me occupied. Both paths of life, though divergent, are interesting, and potentially fulfilling. However, the second (mine) can be fulfilled by any Tom Dick or Harry, while the first needs the people chasing BHAGs. My husband I think is one of them – his outfit, Social Alpha is aiming to end world hunger, poverty, disability, climate depletion and many more such issues. They have an incubator, as well as a fund to identify, mentor, seed and take to market outfits creating social impact on a wide ranging set of areas like nutrition, agriculture, health, education, sustainability. “Our complex social, economic and environmental challenges urgently demand a radically new approach” says their website.

Now most corporates have their quarterly/ yearly/ 2 yearly plans, and then do have their BHAGs – a practice that keeps their paths both on the immediate Wall Street happiness, as well as future profitability. In a world, where global economic profits sank from $726 billion to an economic loss of $34 billion from 2005-07 to 2015-17 as per a Mckinsey study, these BHAGs are what may ensure financial stability in the years to come.

This reflection, actually tied in neatly with one of the screened sessions – a very interesting Ted Talk by David Brooks’ on Resume vs. Eulogy. Brooks makes the point about most of us, all our lives really aiming to build “resume” virtues – that focus on “external successes” we can show the world, and be proud of. There is, however, what he calls the “eulogy virtues” that are more your legacy, and really exemplify your “Internal Goodness”. He says that despite the fact that we all probably really admire and aim for the eulogy virtues more, our culture and educational systems spend more time teaching the skills and strategies to build an external career, than on how to build inner character. It is apparently a really famous talk, based off American rabbi and philosopher Joseph Soloveitchik’s well known Lonely Man of Faith dichotomy between “Adam I” and “Adam II.” “Adam I is the external Adam, it’s the resume Adam…Adam I wants to build, create, use, start things. Adam II is the internal Adam. Adam II wants to embody certain moral qualities, to have a serene inner character, not only to do good but to be good. Adam I, the resume Adam, wants to conquer the world…. Adam II wants to obey a calling and serve the world. Adam I asks how things work, Adam II asks why things exist and what ultimately we’re here for.”

Also, eulogy problems take more than one’s lifetime to solve, while resume problems get solved within an individual’s lifetime.

And I was thinking (much like BILL Gates hinted at in his blog on this topic) – that maybe more than two sides of man, the two Adams are merely a function of life cycle stage – one spends one’s early life being more Adam (well, or Eve) 1 and then having achieved certain milestones, the balance shifts more to Adam 2. My husband is doing this – after the first half century of his life chasing a resume (coming from a govt school in remote Pithoragarh, he ended up at Harvard; leading the Gobal development org for a fintech company); he is now building an eco system for social impact – he is really doing this out of a deepest desire to do good – to help the under privileged, and to right, in some small measure, the inequalities the world sees. I do think both sides of his life have been equally frustrating, yet equally pharrellian. Another of my ex-partners is also doing this – after exiting the company we co-founded, she has created an amazing platform (called Lets Do Some Good) that has connected hundreds of organisations working on areas of childhood education, health, hygiene, employability and overall quality of life for the urban poor. The idea being that many random acts of kindness, when brought together, can collaborate to create synergies. Her flagship project, in addition, aims to bring urban slum children into mainstream schools after a year of a “bridge program”. So, after half of her life spent on resume virtues, she is now very passionately involved in the eulogy side. Even Brooks has said this – Deep people also tend to be old.  But, “Being deep doesn’t preclude you from being, well, shallow. Some days we want to be externally successful, some days we want to be internally good. The question is whether your life is in balance.”

I think the trick is to ask this question of yourself, every few years, “At what points do my talents and deep gladness meet the world’s deep need?”

Having said that, another speaker, while maybe chasing resume virtues (she was really young though), made me realise that..

– The world is truly multidisciplinary / patterns are about joining impossible dots – 
I still don’t know what this young lady does by the way – she said she could maybe call herself a Creative Researcher. Her primary work seemed to be in the space of sound. She basically took us through some (I would have said fairly disjointed) pieces of work/ projects that she has done – and they were all jaw droppingly amazing. They ranged from an installation done with cut plastic water bottles, that was kind of shaped like an igloo, and that emitted some sounds as the wind whistled through it; to a graffiti made of auditory codes, each of which when scanned told the story of an immigrant (she distributed copies of these codes); to some work she had done on sound therapy (apparently there are claims that sound therapy can cure cancer); to a kaleidoscopic installation in Oslo made of folks walking through some architecture, and the waves/ voices emitted as they did it; to work she had done with appliances created to help differently abled children in Himachal. All mind-blowingly new/ seemingly unconnected to me/ abstract as well – and yet, all apparently keeping this young women happy and in money! It was raw yet refreshing, bizarre yet educative, and, honestly, eye opening. A really unique insight into non mainstream interdisciplinary work, and the incredibly diverse opportunities open to kids today.

During one of the activities during the event, I also met a lady, a part of the audience like me, who told me her son was a professional poker player – had been a genius at math; and turned this into playing professional poker – I saw this traditional middle class Indian mum’s struggle with this unconventional choice of livelihood for her only son, but I also saw an acceptance of what apparently was making her son happy. A good lesson to learn for a theatre kid’s mum.

– Context is King – The first speaker of the evening was the director of a Dance Village in Bangalore, founded by the talented though troubled Protima Bedi. The lady had enrolled in the school when she was 20, following her passion, and a path away from a degree in economics. The talk was about many interrelated thoughts – following your dreams, but also about making someone else’s dream your dream in the true Guru-Shishya Parampara; about dance being more than just movement – it being more a means of bringing your “inside out” and the “outside in”; going/ passing from this earth when your work is done – not before and not after. Incidentally, a collateral reflection (of mine) during this speech was one about “learning” today, specially for disciplines like dance/ music etc; vs. the models in the earlier years. I remember a renowned musician Mashkoor Ali Khan saying that when we lived with our Guru, any wrong note we uttered, would be immediately corrected by the Guru, and we would get on the right track (this even if we were doing riyaz in another room while the Guru was resting in another one). But nowadays, with the weekly one hour class kind of learning we undertake (my kids have done the regular rounds of all classes – dance/ music/ tennis/ basketball/ drama/ art), I wonder how one really internalises learning – and achieves the 10,000 hours needed to drive expertise. Ofcourse, it is also an “exploration” vs. “perfection” thing – for kids, they are exploring the areas they want to maybe specialise in later – and the hours spent do go up once they figure the thing/s they want to focus on.

This side thought aside, to me the one thing that stayed behind in my mind was what she said about how the motivation behind every gesture in dance dictates how one uses the gesture. She took the audience through the different ways in which the karkata mudra (I think), could be used to portray waiting/ mystery/ allure/ thoughtfulness etc…., similarly how the gesture for a veil could be used in different occasions – a bride, a mistress, shyness, strategy….and this essentially made me realise that what we hear very often now in the tech world – Contextual Marketing – is really more basic. The idea of a piece of technology working according to the place where you are/ or the impulse that triggered the use/ or the kind of person using it, is really common sensical context right? And this context we apply in everything – in our speech – how we talk, who we talk to, how we behave, how we purchase. Hence we develop ads like the one I saw while typing just now, for rental cars in Budapest and then another for winter clothing (I was just checking flight fares to Europe). Or, utilities like my friend and other ex co-founder’s company Zineone does. Zineone is a real time AI based personalisation solutions company. In their own words, “Want to drive higher traffic to your location? Send an exclusive offer for a customer’s favorite beverage, redeemable on-site only?. Are you looking to increase orders during a typical lull period? Push the customer a coupon for an item they frequently purchase, redeemable in the store during that time frame only” In fact, all of the currently wildly popular yet continuously developing Augmented Reality/ MR solutions would be nothing if it wasn’t for a realisation of context.

The question of context also came across in another, well, context …

– Know, and focus your target audience/ market – This was an unfortunate observation (and one would think is Business 101) – One of the above speakers, who I would have thought would have had the most interesting talks; much to my dismay, and the child’s boredom, got lost in vague generalities and prescriptive inanities. And, therefore, the talk remained just that – a talk. I think part of the problem was that this talk was undecided about who to address it to – the high schoolers, or their parents – it ended up by sitting squatly in the middle, and could impress neither – my daughter and her friends apparently raised eye brows and had a giggle about some visual with a Tee shirt saying IDGAF (which I learnt that night – means I don’t give a f$#@), and how he kept saying “dude” (which DD authoritatively says is only used by old fogies wanting to be too-cool). What would I think have made an impact on both audiences would have been anecdotes of how he achieved what he did/ what were the challenges he faced/ how did he overcome them. It also goes to show that you can do very cool things without being the communicator.

– Be honest to yourself – fake is forgettable – A bit of the same problem happened to a speaker who was a singer/ songwriter – lovely voice by the way. At the end of his talk he actually performed a song he had written – was really very foot tapping music, relatable theme and incredible voice. But, in this case again, he didn’t quite read his audience right – I think being younger, had the added burden of wanting to impress the audience – thus the talk was just high faluting words strung together – thereby narrating abstract banalities. To be fair, one of his subjects WAS the “power of words” – but I am guessing the older people were thinking – “why is this young thing telling us that words are important” , and the younger kids were thinking “what is he even talking about”. Instead, a description of how he started/ how he overcame his mental health issues/ how he struggled, and life lessons from there , would have been awesome. Again, set context via anecdotes – just a point with no back up data, is tough

– Less is more – In contrast, there was a scientist (who was the one my daughter was least interested in to begin with – you see, we are “theatre/ humanities’ type, we don’t like anything connected to STEM – but who ended up being the most interesting talk of all). Was about biodiversity of species , specially in the Western Ghats – crisp, concise, articulate, engaging, not too simplistic that you would brush it off, but not too esoteric either – overall, relatable, informative, understandable and told in personalised story format. No attempt at grandeur, no attempt at impressing anywhere – not unnecessary humility either – but just an honest talk about the work she does. Reflection – be true to yourself – the moment you try to project yourself as what you are not, you will meet circumstances where you will fall on your face.

At the end, the lessons I learnt from this evening in a high school were:

A) A parent is a parent, and unconditional love comes only from one
B) Context and Relatability are ubiquitous fundamentals
C) Today’s Youth is cool (and lucky) – far more so than my generation
D) The Circle of Life is real – and one traverses it by moving from building on strengths; to working on eradication of weakness.
E) Science is cool. Genetics is cooler. Honesty is the coolest

Healthcare in India – still Miles from the Internet of Things Vision

My 81 year old dad has been having a rocky couple months.
It started with weakness and giddiness; then a feeling of numbness in his limbs; then incidences of blurred vision and slurred speech – classic stroke symptoms.
My brother and I started the usual merry go round that all caregivers of senior citizens go through – emergency-neurologist-cardiologist-nephorologist-endocrinologist-back to emergency-repeat cycle. Threw in sessions with a GP, and then a couple operations of the eye at the ophthalmologist.
Went to two hospitals, and 4 branches of one of them.

Was completely appalled at the isolated nature of patient information access and diagnostists available, even at the best hospitals, in the Silicon Valley of India. And this, when we are debating the use of Wearables, Internet of Things and Big data all the time!

Lets look at the possibilities for the Healthcare IoT first:

– At the individual/ patient level –

The ultimate beneficiaries, patients (both current and potential/ future), will basically create and consume larger amounts of data than ever before – due to wearables (e.g. Tempo from CarePredict) / implants/ other gadgets and devices owned.

This will enable better monitoring of behaviour, and, when coupled with context – facilitate hugely improved diagnostics. Diagnostics that are derived from integrated data – multi disciplinary, as well as omnichannel/ source. (So, no more – “your sodium is low, eat more salt – says nephrologist — uhhh, but BP is high, reduce salt says cardio”! )

These diagnostics will then not only treat any emergencies or negative incidences quicker/ more competently, but also act proactively – thus alerting users and discouraging them from harmful behaviours (too much smoking/ not enough walking/ too many carbs/ not enough sleep….)

This personalised patient care, is after all, the raison-d-etre of the wearables market, which, according to a recent IDC report, is set to reach 45.7 million units worldwide in 2015, and 126.1 million units in 2019.

The IoT approach can then be taken a step further – and use gamification techniques to reward compliant medical behaviour. (My constantly sudoku playing dada and candy crushing mom I’m sure will be very vulnerable to these approaches!)

– At the macro/ aggregated level –

Obviously, when taken as a large body of data, analytics organisations can develop and fine tune personas and segments, making them richer and more detailed. The way to do this would be to combine biomed research using life sciences databases with aggregated patient behaviour and symptoms. This should ideally ultimately result in predictive models, thus leading to better treatment. Basically, a higher emphasis on real time monitoring and intervention combined with traditional lab work becomes the new clinical research methodology! In long term vision, companies and nations get a jumpstart on reducing burden of disease in the overall population.

– At the enterprise level –

Many studies are saying that providers may be able to save up to a quarter of their business costs with the Internet of Things.  This would be done by integrating new technologies into their operational strategies. Think about it – a vast, dynamic mass of wearables, biometric sensors, smartphone add-ons, and other medical devices and implantables – all growing, shifting, and ripe for an IoT approach

– Miscellaneous –

The serious side of Healthcare IoT is only one side of the picture actually – the wearables landscape is fairly glamorous even from the early adopter tech consumer’s Point of View! Think Ping, a social networking garment developed by designer Jen Darmour; Smart socks that tell you when to change, and where the pair is; Electrozyme or Motorola digital tattoos (that always remind me of the Bourne Identity series); tweeting bras (to remind one of breast exam monthly); dream inducing headbands; Peekiboo, a cap that lets you see the world through your baby’s eyes; smart pajamas that help you with bedtime entertainment when your kids are ready for bed; i-Grow income hair growth helmet; Drumpants which is Multiple touch pads sewn into a pair of classy jeans give drummers a six-piece kit; and, the coolest of all, Necomimi, a set of feline-like ears that strap on to your head, supposedly measure brainwaves and then move and flick based on how you’re feeling at a given moment!

The Flip Side

But the real truth, atleast in India (as experienced by my dad and me) is a far cry from the vision. At the moment, there is NO healthcare Internet of Things – maybe just a random collection of medical devices and consumer monitoring technologies that don’t quite know what to do with each other! 

Treatment is isolated – diagnosis is gut and experience based (which actually is not necessarily a bad thing – since, given India’s huge population, doctors do get to practice a lot and so see a wide variety of patients); there is very little digitisation even in the best hospitals. (In fact, in the hospital where we treated our dad, even within the 3 buildings in the same health city campus, there are different degrees of digitisation – the newest, the Eyecare hospital introduced EMR maybe 3-4 years ago, and so it’s all modern; the next oldest Multi Specialty Hospital now scans the written prescriptions of the doctor after you come out of the treatment room, (so, atleast keeping some records – though I’m reasonably confident nothing is being done with those scans yet); and the oldest, the Cardio facility I think still does nothing digital)

To answer the question – “why” – I think it really has to do with a basic question of population – in our country, we are too busy solving the Maslow’s Hierarchy lowest rung questions of food, clothing and shelter to spend too much money and time on other stuff. Coupled with legacy systems and old habits dieing hard, it’s a tough combo to beat!

And then there’s the question of reliability – many medical practitioners suspect non manual devices and gadgets – I have met with scepticism on the results of digital BP monitors from all doctors and nurses! (and my 10-times-a-day-BP-measuring dad’s experience shows significance differences between same time readings of manual/ analog BP monitors and the digital ones. Despite repeated calibrations!). So, reliability is suspect.

And, as yet, I’m not even stepping into the whole compliance/ medico-legal/ security aspect of the data

I think this is a bit like the “obvious” steps in customer centricity across functions and kind of business that are visible to everyone now with Big Data, but the fact is that no one is exploiting them – due to lack of vision, corporate lethargy, or even mal-intent in the form of vested interests! (watch out for the next blog on that topic in a few days). The good news – In a PwC study, 95% of healthcare CEOs said they were exploring better ways to harness and manage big data. The bad news – this is not confined to India alone – Read this article on how this state of affairs sadly seems true globally :(.

Maybe it’s just a matter of time – the question is how much time! Meanwhile, for my dad and me, it’s onwards and upwards to the next “o-logist” – this time the ENT specialist for new hearing aids! Yawwwnnnn….

What Superwoman Lilly Singh taught me about Life, and Management

5,747,586 – that’s how many subscribers Lily Singh a.k.a Superwoman has! I was at her last show in India a couple days ago, and my ear drums are still ringing with the constant screaming of some 800 kids – mainly girls, who showed me what stereotypical celebrity concert hysteria is!

I had a very interesting and illuminating time actually – there was a pre concert “meet and greet”, where I saw teenagers crying and hyperventilating at the thought of meeting their idol, and then there were folks who came upto my kids and said – hey, we are making a vlog – come join. The kids then sang some snippets of things that seemed to afford them great entertainment. (For those interested, that vlog is called chicken tikka brothers) On the ride back, I asked the kids in the car – what was the difference between a vlog and a youtube channel; and they ALL – including my 9 year old, told me – the blog is just about her life, following her, what she does everyday etc; while the youtube channel is the funny videos she makes that made her famous. In the YT channel, she stages it – puts lights, has a table, has a good camera etc. So I asked them why then wd she have both? Why not only one? And the young one told me – Ma, not all subscribers are fans . So, NOT everyone is interested in following her life! Early lessons to learn on social media, huh!

Then also followed this very interesting discussion on “who’s the youtuber you follow most?” Names like PewDiePie (who has some — hold your breath — THIRTY SEVEN MILLION subscribers!!! What does he do? put up videos of himself gaming, apparently!), Tyler Oakley, 6.9 mil, who started the channel primarily on LGBT issues, but has since broadened – and was even on the Ellen Show, Zoella, 8.2 mil, who makes videos on beauty tips, Miranda Sings, 4 mil, who is the SAME apparently, only an off-kilter avatar, as Colleen Ballinger running PsychoSoprano – 2.4 mil subscribers! Then there are travel guys like JacksGap, 4 mil, music guys like KurtHugo Schneider, 4 mil, and Collins Key, 400K, on magic.

Then the little one had her own favourites to contribute – Bethany Mota, 8.7 mil, who basically puts DIY tips type stuff, Rosanna Pansino, 3.9 mil, who makes cooking videos, Merrelltwins, 292K who write on I don’t know what, Jacy and Kacy, 231k, who run craft and cooking tips, and “challenges” – “challenges” are the BIG thing – bad food challenge, rainbow loom challenge, make up challenge etc. etc.

But, for me, the whole experience brought forth some very interesting lessons/ parallels:

a) Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown:
It’s a pity, but popularity comes with its own onus of responsibility! I googled Lilly Singh post the show, and she pops up FIRST as motivational speaker! And truly, part of the show was about happiness (her “happy place” is Unicorn island, which is the name of her tour), and how kids should believe in themselves; and how she picked herself up post severe depression, and how life is hard, but you most probably will get to see your dreams fulfilled if you work really really hard – but that being said, the hardest piece of work she ever did was to pick her up from depression and learn to be happy.

I was like – woooaaaah – THIS is the funny Lilly Singh? But, then my daughter told me – “ma, she gets millions of letters fromm people who were very depressed and they tell her that watching her videos made them get out of depression, and cancer patients who tell her listening to her make them feel so much better etc…“.

But I was like – omg, poor kid! Here she was, just trying to have a good time, and then she is saddled with this whole 6 mil people, and she cannot say trashy stuff, and she cannot let them down…blah blah blah.

Folks in any kind of leadership position in any role will empathise – the minute you have fans/ followers/ subordinates/ children – you jolly well watch each and every thing you do/ say/ eat etc…as a senior leader in the org that took over my startup once told me, I really want you and your co founders to join me leadership – it’s really lonely at the top!

On this note, I just read this article on Kangana Ranaut declining an ad endorsement deal for INR 2 crores coz she didnt want to propogate the idea of fair skin! Way to go, and that’s a true example of responsibility beding executed well

b) Brand Reputation – and its sphere of influence:
So, as opposed to the screaming hyperventilating, sometimes crying teenagers, I was viewing the show on its own merit – I watch a lot of shows, and don’t watch a lot of youtube. So, to me, each of her famous lines were NOT famous, and her clever references, just words! What that meant was that i wasn’t in it for the celebrity/ fan-dom thingie at all, but just to watch a stand up comic-ish person.
Now, don’ get me wrong, I like her videos – I think she is funny, has a knack for hitting the right spot, and is very good at mimicry. But, as a stand alone performance her SHOW was , I wd say, just average! Then what price the screaming hysterical kids? Even post show, every child I spoke to, luuurrrved her/ thought she was rilly rilly funny etc..
I figured it was because she has built up a super image and fan base – so she cd get by, by just “referring to” her popular stuff on her videos – whether it is her collaborator Humble the poet and their songs, e.g., IVIVI, her parent characters, Paramjeet Singh (who says don’t wear Mini skirts and don’t talk to boys, and eat “jogurt”; and Manjeet Singh (who gives tips for spicyness and “seskiness”) , her superwoman gestures….whatever. After all, when the audience is in a mood to be overwhelmed, they WILL be.

It’s like the parallel with brands – they spend megabucks on advertising to build a brand – so that, sometimes when the actual product is not so great, the brand carries it through (for a while Google Glass maybe could be placed in this category. Oh btw, did you know that Google Glass may be coming back?). Or, in services examples, say Accenture builds up this formidable rep, and post that wins many deals on rep alone (nyaaahhh, doesn’t happen – but deal making does becaome easier)

The catch here is ofcourse that real brand value has to be delivered sooner rather than later. In this case, I’m sure it will be. But, does make you think about brand building, reputation and extensions (talking about “joghurt”, remember cosmopolitan yogurt?)

c) RFC:
You’ve got to hand it to these youtubers – they really know the mantra for global appeal – and now even I’ve figured it out! You have to be either funny, (Superwoman is very very funny on her videos), “cool” – now this is a relatively more difficult to describe word, or well, not to decsribe coz we all know what cool is to us; but to enact/ BE! But I am guessing cool becomes cool more by outcome than by the input/ action – so it’s how your peers and idols behave when faced with this aspiring cool thing that determines if a thing is cool. But I also see, that most often, success comes with REAL stuff – stuff that’s straight from the heart, stuff that resonates with the audience and is not faked. To give kids their due, today’s kids are very very quick at detecting “fake” – and they react therefore positively to stuff that’s NOT. Lilly spoke about true life experiences, and touched upon stuff that ALL in the audience, whether 9 yr old like my young one, 14 like my older one, or close to 50 like their mom – could nod at!
(An interesting side piece of analysis seems to be that most of the youtubers I mentioned above are 26 – is that the sweet spot age for success?)
This I think is a great lesson for management folks, and also advertisers – actually, why stop there – parents, teachers, husbands, wives, you name it! It’s best to be atleast 2 out of the RFC trio to create success – but obviously, the R is the most important – it lets you reach people, and, as I have said before, it really is about the people!

d) The Art of the Split Personality
In our time, what you saw was what you got – maybe we had a school face and a home face, but that was it! Now, one has (and maybe should have), a school group 1 face, a teacher face, a school group 2 face, a home face, a facebook face, a snapchat face, a whatsap one, a linkedin face, a vine, a youtube, a …a….a! (Btw, as you may remember from my earlier post, each face SHOULD behave differently atleast in the social media channels!
Lilly Singh, has what the kids called, her “parent” personalities – each of them is her obviously, each of them now has independent twitter, and what she called “instantgram” handles. Each of them (or, well, she dressed up as each of them), promoted and asked for subscription to, each of these handles. Each of them exists in a parallel universe!
Now, dont get me wrong, split or even multiple personalities are as old as time. From Vishnu’s dash-avatar or 10 incarnations; to Jekyll and Hyde; to Batman/ Bruce Wayne or Superman/ Clark Kent or Spiderman/ Peter Parker, we are familiar with all of them. But never have all personalities existed simultaneously – which brings me to the question – how do these kids deal with these? Is it a generational cohort thing? or just a byproduct of technology? And more worrying to me as a parent, what then is constant? (And, to refer to an earlier thread, how do they which is REAL?)
This btw, spins traditional marketing completely on its head, doesn’t it? STP – who do you target if the target is multiple? do you disambiguate this multiple personalities, or address each separately? If former, or even if latter, which ones?

e) New styles of Marketing:
i) Marketing is getting more aggressive – witness multiple avatar handles marketed at same time; promo tours; the whole digital landscape
ii) Its more crowd sourced – The entity being marketed doesn’t necessarily have to do it themselves – there are apps/ twitter handles/ vlogs ….AND people taking selfies/ pictures all the time to post
iii) Younger and younger kids now understand it

So the question seems to be – are kids getting stuff too early? is success/ gratification/ the trappings of the material world coming too early? Isn’t it better if kids remained kids?

Also, in the whole hurry to take pictures and post them, aren’t the kids missing out on the beauty of what the naked eye sees and remembers? Out of the 800 show attendees, atleast 90% had the video/ photo stuff on ALL the time (intact, Lilly even said – guys, you watch my videos on the net all the time- now that I’m here, watch me LIVE)

All in all, it was a super evening – the kids met an idol and were part of a hysterical mob and I learnt many things about kids and kids in mobs and youtubing and vlogs.
I think, all else notwithstanding, Superwoman is quite amazing, and, as I told her during the meet and greet – the world needs more like her!

On Prevarication, JIT, and Acorns & Oaks

So, it’s true – the acorn doesn’t fall far from the oak. I just read this article on early risers vs late night owls, roughly 10 mins after my daughter finally got up this morning/ afternoon – at 12.10 (that’s p.m.)! And, despite my frustration at the time she was getting up, was forced to face my own habits – I have done various all-nighters throughout my life, but ask me to wake up at even 7 a.m…..and I’m like someone asked me to run a marathon! So, not surprised lo sleeps at 4 and wakes up at 12.

I also see this same genetic influence in her regarding another bad habit – that of “putting off things till tomorrow that should ideally be done today”. In other words, prevarication! The fact that I didn’t write a blog for well over 3 months, was basically prevarication – so is this now-almost-extinct book project I launched upon a year ago! This unfortunately is a lifelong habit.

When I think about it, prevarication is a fantastic way of letting nature prioritize tasks for you – basically, you keep putting things off till they either assume monumental do-or-die proportions, thus forcing you to put your head down and work to finish that task; or they just fade away – which basically means that they weren’t all that important to begin with. Read this article to see how procrastinating does help you become more focussed and productive!

But the other aspect of it is that I work best under a deadline – the buzz that a concentrated effort with a looming deadline brings, is unparalleled – I know advertising agencies work best that way – maybe desperation brings out the creative juices in a way that having a lot of time doesn’t. Or maybe, it’s just that some folks are wired a certian way, and they only work best under pressure.

All my life – whether it was exams , where I wouldn’t study throughout the year, but basically not sleep the entire week/ fortnight of exams; or, whether it was a client deadline on work that would get done JUST-in-time…I’ve practiced this last minute way of work. Not easy on parents/ teachers/ fellow workers – but, hey, it works!

The Japs made JIT such a big management phenomenon, and supply chains all over the world, for example at Wal-Mart, specialised in optimal inventories and thus enormous cost reductions, due to JIT!

The best slant on what I would ruthlessly call the big P word, but HBR calls the theory of optimum delay is this link. It talks about how it’s almost always better to wait a bit – whether it is Jimmy Connors’ tennis shot, or a decision made after some delay (infact, in true HBR style, it even has a shorthand for it – OODA – observe, orient, decide, act)

The interesting point that emerges therefore I guess is about the value of time. We always heard Time is Money, and the hare vs. tortoise story about wasting time resulting in a certain win being converted into an ignominious loss! But the author argues here, that the time spent “observing, orienting and deciding; actually ends up being useful time in the end.

Coming back to procrastination however, the kind I am talking about is the one where you are not necessarily achieving much out of the delay – but instead spending time on arbit rubbish, convincing yourself you are WORKing – it’s like when my daughter sits in front of her comp at her desk, with her books open; but then watches Bethany Mota or Superwoman or Into the Woods – in her mind, she is working! Or, when I continuously scroll between facebook, whatsap and email – convincing myself I am reading/ enlarging my mind —- all of this is chronic procrastination!

So, the question is: Is procrastination good or bad, (or, if bad, how do you avoid it)

I really like this article where procrastination is related to willpower, or the limited amount of it. “If you’re thinking about procrastinating, it’s already too late” it says. Sounds familiar? 🙂

IMO, habitual procrastinators are just so – they can at best become a bit better – I think what is important is whether they get results despite procrastinating, i.e. whether their procrastination achieves success, or ends up in failure. I suspect this in turn relates to — how much horse power the procrastinator has — as an example, I repeatedly did things last minute, because I saw time after time, that I COULD do things last minute – whether it was cramming for the year’s portions the day before the exam, or a client deadline to be sent off.

It also relates to, WHAT kind of work is being delayed – as I said before, some work actually is better for the delay. Read this article on how prevarication is better for productivity

Most experts give advice on how to battle procrastination. Most procrastinators are experts at listening to, then ignoring this advice. I did like some of the stuff in this article which talks about whisker goals as opposed to stretch goals, and how to not let a task list overwhelm you; and this nice logout tip for productivity.

For folks who are annoyingly on time all the time, obviously sometimes it is better if procrastinators around them learn how to manage this addiction! Here is some more reading on this topic (clearly written by someone who is NOT a procrastinator, and thus has NO idea what he is talking about!)

We all know the adoption life cycle – in many cases, early adopters, while being the first to get to experiment with new stuff and getting the pleasure of it; also the associated status; as well as creating a new market, also sometimes become guinea piggish – so, in case the new tech doesnt do well, they suffer reversals. On the other hand, procrastinators (only, the tech life cycle doesn’t use the P word – it calls them the “mature” consumers), get to enjoy the combined experience of all the early adopters – and benefit from iterations in technology, also very often cheaper prices as, due to scale, prices of the new tech stuff drops.

Even in the newer versions of the hare and tortoise stories, the procrastinator hare becomes smarter, and not only runs faster and steadier, but also changes the rules of the game to enjoy better/ more suited to him – wins.

So, ofcourse, being a die hard procrastinator, I will look for the pluses – but I have to confess, when I wear my mom hat, I’m not so happy seeing this in my lo!

Having said that, facebook fed me another early vs late night article which was reasonably complimentary to “night owl chronotypes”), so, maybe, procrastinator oak notwithstanding, my acorn has some hope in life yet!

Whose Sale Is It Anyway; or; come onnn – Differentiate!

Seen on front pages of a newspaper, and its supplement yesterday. Made me think about what competition does to one. A few thoughts:

a) Media is amazing! No conflict of interest obviously right? Front pages of 2 sections of the SAME paper with 2 direct competitors BOTH sponsoring full page ads?

Oh btw, the next day got these – AGAIN!

b) No noticeable difference between the 2 (or even 4) – infact, till you look really deeply, you miss the store where the discounts are being held! (unless you are my girl Friday Tulasi, or my sister in law Niharika, both of whose bigtime source of entertainment is to check deals). So HOW are these stores expecting ROI? Footfalls, I may still assume they will get – if it’s general shopping season, and since these are regular grocery/ super marts, they will have a steady clientele anyway, but ROI for these ads (as in, increase in revenues/ attention/ whatever the objective was? ) – hmm not so sure

c) While topical/ day related catalogu-ish advertising was always something our “organized” retailers did, the flavour of these has gotten a bit different (more desperate) since the mega online guys-with-their-VC-money-funded-advertising has got! (Remember the unprecedented-and-then-much-maligned flipkart’s billion sale thingie?)….

….with the tried-hard-to-be-funny “ambush” campaigns by its competitors?

Just goes to show the impact of e-comm on even traditional/ middle class India! (well, maybe not. It’s really urban India that is getting affected by this)

This thing about “differentiation” also sparks a parenting thought (as all things do with me). My teenage daughter is kind of caught between a devil and a hard place almost, at times I think. Like most kids at that age, her prime desire – when interacting specially with parents, is to blend with the crowd – not do anything that gets her attention (so, mom yelling HAPPY NEW YEAR on the streets on christmas eve is a no-no….OK, that I grant to her :); but even if we need to get something clarified from say a store salesman, goes through severe angst at this whole “calling attention to herself” thing).
On the other hand, she actively looks for things to make her different – so, dip-dyed hair, her theatre classes – which is fairly unique in her circles, a desire to play the ukelele (of all things!), she is constantly looking to do things which may then get her “cooler” attention from her peers.

I think this is fairly similar to what any of us goes through too – a desire at the same time – to “belong” and yet to “stand out” — I think it’s basically the choice of where you want to belong vs. stand out that hones your essence!

On a randomly different (though related since we are talking of differentiation) thought, I came across some nice doppleganger pictures of celebrities (with even funnier descriptions)- enjoy!

AND one of Anne-Amal

Coming back to the whole point of differentiation as competitive strategy, I think Amazon has done a super job recently – their “Aur Dikhao” ad, while on a seemingly over used plank, is just sheer brilliance in creative execution! Here it is:

And, talking of sales, their May sale ad, with many people dancing hilariously, is truly different too (couldn’t find it to post sadly! )

So, its desirable, even possible, one just has to work harder!

The Sudden Rise of Social Conscience; OR; How incentives work

– Yesterday, a neighbour came to me and asked – do you remember the name of the lady who was running a “clean up your neighborhood” drive? My daughter has to do some community service for her higher studies so we are actively looking for causes.

– Our community is involved in a lot of good causes in the surroundings – schools, pet shelters, adult vocational training, health, hygiene and life skills for the under privileged, scholarships for bright students — many many such causes. It has even given birth to a trust, which was created to manage the funds generated due to an annual run/ walkathon. A lot of middle and high school kids help out in many ways – some by tutoring the domestic helpers’ kids; some by teaching govt. school kids to dance and sing and thus prepare them for various functions like Independence day etc…The organisers, ALWAYS,at the end give away certificates of participation, and one mentioned to me that they may not have had so many kids participating if it wasn’t for the community service “credits” they notch up

– My daughter, who is part of a band, recently performed at a fund raiser – this was organised by a 10th std. girl – at a 5-star hotel. She did it because her “education counselling services” mentor advised her to organise a fund raiser to support some charity in the “health” arena. It was really well done – nice location, great performances by middle and high school kids, and the beneficiary kids, a DJ playing dance beats later. (But, as the founder of the beneficiary organisation observed, the “rich” kids, (including mine), didn’t really even talk to the kids of the beneficiary NGO!

– March marks the end of the financial year in India – most companies are scrambling to meet quotas – revenue/ profitability/ spend budgeted. Many companies are therefore desperately looking for projects to fund – specially with respect to the 2% of their profits on CSR that the new companies act has mandated.

In general, atleast in urban India nowadays, there is a much higher emphasis on CSR and community service, than there used to be when we were growing up. This rise of “share of voice” and mind towards Social causes, I suspect has been primarily led by powerful mandates – in the case of children seeking admissions in university, by the universities mandating comm-service credits; in the case of corporates abroad e.g. in the US, by higher weightage in deals etc to companies showing comm-service, and now in India , by the much talked about but little understood by now famous Companies Act of 2013.

Essentially, what it means, that a lot of things in life boil down to incentives – pets are trained using incentives, babies are raised using incentives, organisational goals are realised using incentives, and now, Social good is done using incentives!

In today’s world, where there is a great degree of buzz about Customer Centricity, and how the customer should really be at the centre of business (obvious no brainer, one wd say, but in actual fact it doesnt happen!), the reason why this generally agreed upon tenet is not really implemented is because there aren’t enough organisational incentives to change the whole culture around! We all know how Jeff Bezos keeps an empty seat representing the customer at his board meetings – and gives incentives for customer centricity. Just like Google and 3M made such names for themselves for innovation, basically because they have incentive structures designed accordingly!

We need incentives for every little thing – my games of tetris and farm heroes progress at the rapid pace that they do, basically because of incentives – dont need to be material, or public…just higher levels achieved is by itself an incentive! In this context, do read my previous post on goal setting and gamification which is basically incentives in a different form

Another previous post on carrot vs. stick, and the power of positive incentives vs. penalty is also an interesting thought.

Incentive design itself, however, is a complex phenomenon. In some cases, a NEGATIVE incentive works – (parents of teenagers will agree) – so, I only have to say “I dislike something”, for my daughter to LOVE it!

Having said all of this, to me, its great that incentives for social cause do exist, because without it, we wouldn’t see our born-with-silver-spoons-in-their-mouth children be as sensitive to environment around them and people who dont have the priveleges that they have.

Similarly, nearly $1.5 billion wouldn’t flow into the NGO world, if Sachin Pilot hadn’t created the clause. Interestingly, it wasn’t so much the money – as the uptick in visibility and consciousness that it promoted, that was the great impact!

Long live incentives for social cause!